Michaelangelo Mcturtle

Michaelangelo Mcturtle

Michaelangelo eats pizza before every game
No. 92 – Tijuana Luchadores
Position:	Runningback
Personal information
Born:	(2420-31-12)July 12, 2420 (aged -358) New York City, New York, U.S.
Height:	5 ft 6 in (1.68 m)
Weight:	150 lb (68 kg)
Username:	Slothfacekilla
Career information
College:	New York University
DSFL Draft:	2048  / Round: 3 / Pick: 22
Career history
Tijuana Luchadores (2047 (S32)-2048 (S33))
Roster status:	Active
Player stats at ISFL.net

Michaelangelo McTurtle (born July 12, 2422) is an American football runningback for the Tijuana Luchadores of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

Michaelangelo McTurtle was born in the sewers of New York along with the rest of his McTurtle brothers (many who have made it to the ISFL). He was raised on pizza and skateboarding and he only took up football in his teenage years after ignoring sports for most of his life. Though he would dabble in various sports in high school, he mainly focused on his school studies while in school. Despite being a slacker outside of the class he excelled at taking tests for whatever reason. He would eventually make his way to New York University for college where he would study chemistry, hoping to better understand the ooze that created him and his brothers. He was once again a stellar student on tests despite lacking the drive to put in the hours studying. He put more time in eating pizza than studying. Mikey would earn his degree before leaving NYU for professional sports.

College career

Michaelangelo McTurtle practiced often with the NYU football team on the side when his "studies" permitted. That meant if he wasn't skateboarding or eating pizza. Despite his small stature (seriously how does this guy keep all the pizza pounds off of him) the team played him at defensive tackle to modest success. Initially it was thought that Mikey McTurtle would stay at defensive tackle at the next level, but it soon became apparent that his college coaches did not know what they were doing. He would play a bit of DT in the DSFL but that wouldn't last. All in all Michaelangelo had an average college career, and after his less than stellar combine numbers many did not see a future for McTurtle in the ISFL or even in the DSFL. Driven by the need for more money for pizza, Michaelangelo would need to transform himself in order to reach the pros.

College career statistics

He rode the bench he was a tiny DT.

Professional career

DSFL career

Michaelangelo McTurtle would miss a majority of the season in Season 32 due to his intense self training with the rest of his McTurtle brothers in the sewers of New York. Often he would have to wait for them to return home from where they were already playing so his training lasted much of the season. Initially he entered the DSFL as a defensive tackle like his college years. He would go on to be claimed on waivers by Tijuana and McTurtle would join them for their run into the playoffs. It was evident to McTurtle that he still had a lot of work to do. He would return to Tijuana in the draft, going to them in the third round. After extensive offseason training Mikey switched to running back, showing off his brand new speed in the DSFL for the Luchadores.

DSFL Year 1

In his first full season as a running back Michaelangelo McTurtle would form a two-headed rookie backfield with Patrick Porkins to solidify the Tijuana Luchadores rushing attack en route to a 10-4 season to lead the league. Mikey managed to put up the third most yards of any running back, eclipsing the 1000 rushing yard mark in just his first ever professional season. He also managed to find the endzone the second most times of any running backs, and the most of any running back that wasn't just force fed the ball all season long to pump up their counting stats. Mikey managed to chip in 1 touchdown reception as well, putting up a respectable amount of receiving yards as a receiving style running back. Unfortunately the Luchadores would be upset in the first round of the playoffs, a bitter defeat for McTurtle and he would vow to the media after that game that he would train even harder in the offseason so that he could help bring Tijuana back to the promised land of a championship.

DSFL Year 2

Michaelangelo McTurtle's second full season was just as successful as his first from a team perspective with the Luchadores once again having the best record in the regular season. With the addition of a few pieces in the run game in the offseason, and the rushing prowess of Tijuana quarterback Jones, McTurtle saw his attempts in season 34 go down though his yards per carry average did increase slightly. He still put up the fifth most rushing yards of any player in the league, just narrowly missing the 1000 yard mark. McTurtle also saw a bit of touchdown regression with his total this season shrinking down to 6 rushing touchdowns. Once again the Tijuana Luchadores' season would end in heartbreak with a first round playoff exit despite their regular season success. Despite the strong personal game from Mikey where he averaged 7 yards a carry he began to wonder if he was cursed. Once again he vowed to train harder in the offseason to get back to the championship game.

DSFL Year 3

In what would be his last DSFL season, Michaelangelo once again saw his carry total shrink from the previous season with the arrival of rookie running back Breezy who had just been drafted by the Luchadores. Tijuana managed to increase their regular season win total to 11, capturing the top seed in the DSFL again after their strong campaign. McTurtle would average a respectable 5 yards per carry but managed only 4 rushing touchdowns on the season, and many people in the media wondered if his performance was weighing on him entering the playoffs. The coaches must have seen the same thing because McTurtle only received 5 rushes in their first round loss that playoffs. Dejected after another first round exit, McTurtle declared to the media that this would be his last season in the DSFL and he would ascend to the ISFL to play for New York the following season. Mikey declared that the Luchadores were in much better hands with his exit for the big leagues.

ISFL Career

ISFL Year 1

Michaelangelo McTurtle would finally receive his call up to the Silverbacks after his 3rd DSFL season and would immediately make a huge impact on the New York offense. Rushing for over 1100 yards McTurtle led all rookie running backs both on the ground and in the air being the only rookie running back with over 1000 yards on the ground and 500 in the air.

McTurtle broke out as a star for the young squad in week 9 against the Colorado Yeti in a 26-17 loss with 24 carries for 174 yards and 2 touchdowns averaging 7.2 yards per carry. In just his first season he fell shy of Captain Rogers’s single game records in carries, yards, and touchdowns, while setting the new record for longest carry at 75 against the Honolulu Hahalua in a week 5 28-25 loss.

While the Silverbacks would finish 5-11 and last in the conference McTurtle was a large bright spot and the teams future sole #1 Runningback.

Pre-draft measurables

Ht	Wt	40‑yd dash	20‑ss	3‑cone	Vert jump	Broad	BP	Wonderlic
5 ft 6 in (1.68 m)	150 lb (68 kg)	6 s	33 s	44 s	2 in (0.05 m)	0 ft 0 in (0.00 m)	100 reps	69

Professional career statistics

Career statistics			Rushing					Offensive Line
Season	Team	Games	Att	Yards	Avg	Lg	TD	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
2048 (S33)	Luchadores	14	270	1137	4.2	52	12	17	1
2049 (S34)	Luchadores	14	203	997	4.9	19	6	10	0
2050 (S35)	Luchadores	14	174	863	5	48	4	11	0
2051 (S36)	Silverbacks	16	223	1103	4.9	75	9	38	1

Achievements and records

DSFL

S33 Pro Bowl (9/10)

S34 Pro Bowl (9/9)

S35 Pro Bowl (6/7)

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