Michaelangelo Mcturtle
 Michaelangelo eats pizza before every game | |
| No. 92 – Tijuana Luchadores | |
|---|---|
| Position: | Runningback |
| Personal information | |
| Born: | July 12, 2420 (aged -360) New York City, New York, U.S. |
| Height: | 5 ft 6 in (1.68 m) |
| Weight: | 150 lb (68 kg) |
| Username: | Slothfacekilla |
| Career information | |
| College: | New York University |
| DSFL Draft: | 2048 / Round: 3 / Pick: 22 |
| Career history | |
| Roster status: | Retired |
Player stats at ISFL.net | |
Michaelangelo McTurtle (born July 12, 2422) was an American football runningback for the Tijuana Luchadores of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).
Contents
Early years
Michaelangelo McTurtle was born in the sewers of New York along with the rest of his McTurtle brothers (many who have made it to the ISFL). He was raised on pizza and skateboarding and he only took up football in his teenage years after ignoring sports for most of his life. Though he would dabble in various sports in high school, he mainly focused on his school studies while in school. Despite being a slacker outside of the class he excelled at taking tests for whatever reason. He would eventually make his way to New York University for college where he would study chemistry, hoping to better understand the ooze that created him and his brothers. He was once again a stellar student on tests despite lacking the drive to put in the hours studying. He put more time in eating pizza than studying. Mikey would earn his degree before leaving NYU for professional sports.
College career
Michaelangelo McTurtle practiced often with the NYU football team on the side when his "studies" permitted. That meant if he wasn't skateboarding or eating pizza. Despite his small stature (seriously how does this guy keep all the pizza pounds off of him) the team played him at defensive tackle to modest success. Initially it was thought that Mikey McTurtle would stay at defensive tackle at the next level, but it soon became apparent that his college coaches did not know what they were doing. He would play a bit of DT in the DSFL but that wouldn't last. All in all Michaelangelo had an average college career, and after his less than stellar combine numbers many did not see a future for McTurtle in the ISFL or even in the DSFL. Driven by the need for more money for pizza, Michaelangelo would need to transform himself in order to reach the pros.
College career statistics
He rode the bench he was a tiny DT.
Professional career
DSFL career
Michaelangelo McTurtle would miss a majority of the season in Season 32 due to his intense self training with the rest of his McTurtle brothers in the sewers of New York. Often he would have to wait for them to return home from where they were already playing so his training lasted much of the season. Initially he entered the DSFL as a defensive tackle like his college years. He would go on to be claimed on waivers by Tijuana and McTurtle would join them for their run into the playoffs. It was evident to McTurtle that he still had a lot of work to do. He would return to Tijuana in the draft, going to them in the third round. After extensive offseason training Mikey switched to running back, showing off his brand new speed in the DSFL for the Luchadores.
DSFL Year 1
In his first full season as a running back Michaelangelo McTurtle would form a two-headed rookie backfield with Patrick Porkins to solidify the Tijuana Luchadores rushing attack en route to a 10-4 season to lead the league. Mikey managed to put up the third most yards of any running back, eclipsing the 1000 rushing yard mark in just his first ever professional season. He also managed to find the endzone the second most times of any running backs, and the most of any running back that wasn't just force fed the ball all season long to pump up their counting stats. Mikey managed to chip in 1 touchdown reception as well, putting up a respectable amount of receiving yards as a receiving style running back. Unfortunately the Luchadores would be upset in the first round of the playoffs, a bitter defeat for McTurtle and he would vow to the media after that game that he would train even harder in the offseason so that he could help bring Tijuana back to the promised land of a championship.
DSFL Year 2
Michaelangelo McTurtle's second full season was just as successful as his first from a team perspective with the Luchadores once again having the best record in the regular season. With the addition of a few pieces in the run game in the offseason, and the rushing prowess of Tijuana quarterback Jones, McTurtle saw his attempts in season 34 go down though his yards per carry average did increase slightly. He still put up the fifth most rushing yards of any player in the league, just narrowly missing the 1000 yard mark. McTurtle also saw a bit of touchdown regression with his total this season shrinking down to 6 rushing touchdowns. Once again the Tijuana Luchadores' season would end in heartbreak with a first round playoff exit despite their regular season success. Despite the strong personal game from Mikey where he averaged 7 yards a carry he began to wonder if he was cursed. Once again he vowed to train harder in the offseason to get back to the championship game.
DSFL Year 3
In what would be his last DSFL season, Michaelangelo once again saw his carry total shrink from the previous season with the arrival of rookie running back Breezy who had just been drafted by the Luchadores. Tijuana managed to increase their regular season win total to 11, capturing the top seed in the DSFL again after their strong campaign. McTurtle would average a respectable 5 yards per carry but managed only 4 rushing touchdowns on the season, and many people in the media wondered if his performance was weighing on him entering the playoffs. The coaches must have seen the same thing because McTurtle only received 5 rushes in their first round loss that playoffs. Dejected after another first round exit, McTurtle declared to the media that this would be his last season in the DSFL and he would ascend to the ISFL to play for New York the following season. Mikey declared that the Luchadores were in much better hands with his exit for the big leagues.
ISFL Career
ISFL Year 1
Michaelangelo McTurtle would finally receive his call up to the Silverbacks after his 3rd DSFL season and would immediately make a huge impact on the New York offense. Rushing for over 1100 yards McTurtle led all rookie running backs both on the ground and in the air being the only rookie running back with over 1000 yards on the ground and 500 in the air.
McTurtle broke out as a star for the young squad in week 9 against the Colorado Yeti in a 26-17 loss with 24 carries for 174 yards and 2 touchdowns averaging 7.2 yards per carry. In just his first season he fell shy of Captain Rogers’s single game records in carries, yards, and touchdowns, while setting the new record for longest carry at 75 against the Honolulu Hahalua in a week 5 28-25 loss.
While the Silverbacks would finish 5-11 and last in the conference McTurtle was a large bright spot and the teams future sole #1 Runningback.
ISFL Year 2
Season 37 was another productive season for the young running back as it saw him see even more work in the New York backfield. Michaelangelo McTurtle finished fourth in the ISFL in total rushing yards with 1113. The players ahead of McTurtle in rushing yards all had about 100 more carries on the season than Mikey, so he was showing how valuable he was in limited efficient touches. He was able to find the end zone 7 times on the ground as well, scoring over half a dozen rushing touchdowns. McTurtle also helped the Silverbacks' passing attack a lot in Season 37 as he secured 52 catches for 597 yards and 6 touchdowns. This overall proficiency in his game lead to his election to the first team All Pro Team, as well as an almost unanimous Pro Bowl selection. Mikey's off the field contributions were also recognized by New York as he was voted one of the team's captains prior to the start of Season 37. All in all it was a fantastic second season for McTurtle and he hopes to build on it moving forward.
ISFL Year 3
Season 38 was a big season for both Michaelangelo and the New York Silverbacks. New York managed to improve its regular season record to 9-7 and McTurtle earned his first playoff win of his career with a 31-9 win over the San Jose Sabercats. Individually Mikey also had the strongest season of his professional career. He managed 1112 rushing yards (good for 7th in the entire league) on 219 attempts (10th most attempts in the league) for 5.1 yards per attempt (1st among RBs), 17 rushing TD’s (2nd overall in the entire league), and chipped in 43 catches for 463 receiving yards and 3 receiving TD’s. His biggest game of the season came in week 6 in a win over the Honolulu Hahalua. McTurtle was able to amass 163 rushing yards on 21 attempts (good for 7.8 per carry), 3 rushing TD’s. He also added in 2 receiving yards on 1 catch. The New York Silverbacks are going to rely on Michaelangelo McTurtle having more weeks like that moving forward so that they can experience even more playoff success.
ISFL Year 4
S39 saw Michaelangelo McTurtle set career highs for both rushing attempts and rushing yards for the season. McTurtle managed 1167 rushing yards on 240 attempts, which put him eighth in the league in rushing yards for the season. McTurtle also tied his career high with 52 catches, though his yards per catch were at the lowest he's seen in his career. Overall, Mikey had 9 total touchdowns in season 39, a steep drop off from his total the previous season. The New York Silverbacks also took a step back as a team in S39, finishing outside of the playoffs with a 6-9 record which wasn't so nice in the end. A lot of this had to do with New York's abysmal record at home during the season, a paltry 3-5. McTurtle would often criticize his own play at home during the season and expressed frustration at not knowing how to fix it. The Silverbacks would go on to have the second lowest points scored in the entire league after Baltimore, and after Season 39 ended Michaelangelo McTurtle immediately vowed to be a better player for the team next season.
ISFL Year 5
Unfortunately for Michaelangelo McTurtle, Season 40 was another season to forget for the Silverbacks as they finished with a 4-12 record which put them in last place in the entire league. While it was nice to pick first overall in a stacked draft, McTurtle definitely hoped the team would have done better. Individually, Mikey had a pretty solid season which saw him have the most rushing attempts in a season of his career. He rewarded the Silverbacks with the highest yards per carry in the league at 5.3 yards, and found the end zone 13 times as a rush in Season 40. His 1448 rushing yards put him near 6000 rushing yards for his career as well. McTurtle also managed to catch the most passes of his career, with 57 catches for 557 yards and 1 receiving touchdown. Michaelangelo was able to snag a unanimous Pro Bowl selection for his Season 40 campaign, and he was also named to the second team of All Pro's. He'll look to have another season or two in his prime where he hopes to put up similar numbers to Season 40.
ISFL Year 6
It was another letdown of a season in New York in McTurtle's 6th season in the ISFL, where the team failed to make the playoffs again finishing with a 7-9 losing record. The New York offense was solid despite turning the reins over to a rookie in quartarback Blaine Falco. Michaelangelo appeared to miss Savage at the QB position as he posted the worst season of his professional career. The 4.7 yards per carry were the wort of McTurtle's career, and the team severely reduced his touches during the season. McTurtle still managed to eclipse 1000 yards rushing, but he failed to post double digit touchdowns with 9 on the ground during the season. He posted career lows in receiving yards and yards per catch. McTurtle did post the most receptions he's had in a season in his career, but he could not turn that into any big plays. He did manage to not fumble the entire season, the third time he has done so in his career.
ISFL Year 6
Finally McTurtle was able to taste success again with the New York Silverbacks as he helped lead the team back to the playoffs for the first time in a few seasons. Michaelangelo contributed to an offense that scored the second most points in the ASFC during Season 42. McTurtle was able to amass 1376 rushing yards on the season, good for the second most in his career so far. While he only scored 7 rushing touchdowns on the year, he showed that he still had some juice left in the tank running the football. The team rewarded him by increasing his touches again versus the last season, and New York did not regret it. McTurtle was also able to contribute 536 receiving yards and 2 receiving touchdowns, giving young Blaine Falco a reliable option out of the backfield. New York would finish 11-5 on the season, largely thanks to the offensive firepower they showed. New York would ultimately lose in the first round of the playoffs unfortunately, but it was still a positive season in Michaelangelo's career.
ISFL Year 7
Season 43 saw the New York Silverbacks attain the most success they've had as a team since Michaelangelo McTurtle joined the franchise. They paced the entire ISFL with a 14-2 record, boasting a perfect road record to go along with the most points scored and least points given up in the ASFC. McTurtle himself had a productive season as well, making a Pro Bowl despite the team's acquisition of rising star running back Frank Dux. McTurtle finished third in the league with 1384 rushing yards, ninth in yards per carry with 4.9, and led the league with 16 rushing touchdowns. McTurtle also added the second most catches and receiving yards of his career with 58 and 574 respectively, and scored twice through the air. Unfortunately for Mikey and the team they would fall in the championship game. With the acquisition of Dux and McTurtle's age it seems that his future in the sport is currently uncertain. But after the end of Season 43, Mikey did announce that he would return for at least one more season with the Silverbacks.
| Ht | Wt | 40‑yd dash | 20‑ss | 3‑cone | Vert jump | Broad | BP | Wonderlic |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 ft 6 in (1.68 m) |
150 lb (68 kg) |
6 s | 33 s | 44 s | 2 in (0.05 m) |
0 ft 0 in (0.00 m) |
100 reps | 69 |
Professional career statistics
| Career statistics | Rushing | Offensive Line | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Season | Team | Games | Att | Yards | Avg | Lg | TD | Pancakes | Sacks Allowed |
| 2048 (S33) | Luchadores | 14 | 270 | 1137 | 4.2 | 52 | 12 | 17 | 1 |
| 2049 (S34) | Luchadores | 14 | 203 | 997 | 4.9 | 19 | 6 | 10 | 0 |
| 2050 (S35) | Luchadores | 14 | 174 | 863 | 5 | 48 | 4 | 11 | 0 |
| 2051 (S36) | Silverbacks | 16 | 223 | 1103 | 4.9 | 75 | 9 | 38 | 1 |
| 2052 (S37) | Silverbacks | 16 | 233 | 1113 | 4.8 | 44 | 7 | 32 | 1 |
| 2053 (S38) | Silverbacks | 16 | 219 | 1112 | 5.1 | 49 | 17 | 40 | 5 |
| 2054 (S39) | Silverbacks | 16 | 240 | 1167 | 4.9 | 24 | 8 | 37 | 2 |
| 2055 (S40) | Silverbacks | 16 | 273 | 1448 | 5.3 | 61 | 13 | 35 | 5 |
| 2056 (S41) | Silverbacks | 16 | 226 | 1071 | 4.7 | 64 | 9 | 28 | 1 |
| 2057 (S42) | Silverbacks | 16 | 277 | 1376 | 5.0 | 75 | 7 | 41 | 2 |
| 2058 (S43) | Silverbacks | 16 | 284 | 1384 | 4.9 | 54 | 16 | 48 | 2 |
Achievements and records
DSFL
S33 Pro Bowl (9/10)
S34 Pro Bowl (9/9)
S35 Pro Bowl (6/7)
""
