Triceracop .
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| No. 65 – Chicago Butchers | |||||
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| Position: | Offensive Lineman | ||||
| Personal information | |||||
| Born: | May 9, 3045 (aged -985) 3Cago, Illinois, U.S. | ||||
| Height: | 6 ft 7 in (2.01 m) | ||||
| Weight: | 325 lb (147 kg) | ||||
| Username: | Fireyheart | ||||
| Career information | |||||
| College: | 3Cago University | ||||
| ISFL Draft: | 2059 / Round: 1 / Pick: 13 | ||||
| DSFL Draft: | 2058 / Round: 4 / Pick: 27 | ||||
| Career history | |||||
| Roster status: | Active | ||||
| Career ISFL statistics as of Week 2, 2060 | |||||
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| Career DSFL statistics | |||||
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Triceracop . (born May 9, 3047) is an American football offensive lineman for the Chicago Butchers of the National Simulation Football League (ISFL).
Contents
Early years
Triceracop is a dinosaur human hybrid sent from the far future of 3060 to prevent a singularity from taking place. If Thor Dangerson were ever to sack Thor Bǫllrsveifla, it would rip reality apart. For this reason, Triceracop was sent to replace Paul McLaughlin as an offensive lineman for the Bondi Beach Buccaneers after the former LSU tackle suffered a mysterious fate at the hands of the Men in Black. Once a respected member of the 3Cago Police Department in the far future, now his primary goal is to protect the quarterbacks of the ISFL and DSFL. Even though this is his main objective, this hasn't stopped him from investigating the league itself for such crimes as the disappearance of Paul McLaughlin and the supposed death of one Thor Dangerson at the hands of the Orange County Otters. It is the hope of the league and of a certain reporter that Triceracop is able to find his place both in the League and in this era of the timeline.
College career
Luckily for Triceracop and his mission, he spent some time in his days at 3Cago University playing on the offensive line as part of the most powerful and dominant offense in the year 3045. Of course, they were snubbed by the College Football Playoff Committee to give the 9-3 Alabama a path to the playoffs where the Crimson Tide did lose 47-0 to the Newest York Nuclear Navy. Alas, the cyborg Nick Saban still has a lot of control over the committee and was able to politic his team into a spot over the undefeated 3Cago University Cagebreakers. Though the dinosaur human hybrid did give up several sacks over his tenure on the school's offensive line, he was always working to improve on the fundamentals of his game. Being partially dinosaur, the man has the raw physical size and strength to make an impact as part of any unit but developing the technique and speed required at high levels of the game proved a challenge for Triceracop before he joined the police force.
College career statistics
| Career statistics | Offensive Line | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Season | Team | Games | Pancakes | Sacks Allowed |
| 3045 (S1030) | 3CU | 14 | 60 | 0 |
Professional career
| Ht | Wt | 40‑yd dash | 20‑ss | 3‑cone | Vert jump | Broad | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 ft 7 in (2.01 m) |
325 lb (147 kg) |
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| 2059 ISFL scouting combine (S44) | ||||||||||||
Season 45
Getting called up into the ISFL from Bondi Beach, Triceracop started sixteen games as the center of the Butcher's Block, the Chicago Butchers offensive line unit. The line has been a pain point for Chicago for several seasons, with the flightless bird quarterback repeatedly taking high sack numbers despite the Block's best efforts to the contrary. The league's leading dinosaur-human hybrid expressed a lot of frustration with this state of affairs, remarking that "The Penguin sacks himself! What a bozo!"
Despite the difficulties on the pass blocking end for the unit as a whole, the Butchers run game was quite impressive in the ISFL's 44th season, with the team having the second most rushing yards in the league. Now some might point to the high volume of rushes and say that of course that'll happen, but ultimately stats are for nerds and all that matters is pounding the rock and getting yards.
Season 46
Going into the 46th season, and his second season as a Chicago Butcher, Triceracop was moved over to the starting Left Tackle of the Butcher's Block offensive line unit. The dinosaur struggled during the first part of the season, giving up three sacks in the first six games of the season. Some critics believed that this spoke to the pro bowler being an overhyped pretender at trying to anchor the left side of a problematic offensive line.
These critics were silenced when the league's favorite dinosaur-human hybrid did not give up a single sack for the remaining ten games of the season while also averaging a very impressive 7.6 sacks per game for the entire season. Bringing incredible strength and remarkable intelligence to the offensive line for the butchers has led Triceracop to receiving all-pro considerations in only his second season in the ISFL.
Despite this impressive performance, it is believed by some that the dinosaur will not be part of the Butcher's Block anymore, but instead be running through the holes the Block create.
Career Stats
| Career statistics | Offensive Line | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Season | Team | Games | Pancakes | Sacks Allowed |
| 2060 (S45) | Butchers | 16 | 68 | 1 |
| 2061 (S46) | Butchers | 16 | 122 | 3 |
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