Jurisprudence Jones
 |
 Jurisprudence Jones in 2063 | |
| No. 63 – Dallas Birddogs | |
|---|---|
| Position: | Offensive Lineman |
| Personal information | |
| Born: | May 7, 2041 (aged 23) College Station, Texas, U.S. |
| Height: | 6 ft 7 in (2.01 m) |
| Weight: | 325 lb (147 kg) |
| Username: | 124715 |
| Career information | |
| College: | Texas A&M |
| Career history | |
| Roster status: | Active |
Jurisprudence Jones (born May 7, 2042) is an American football offensive lineman for the Dallas Birddogs of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).
Contents
Early years
Jurisprudence Jones grew up in the shadow of Kyle Field in College Station, Texas, with two parents who were both lawyers. Medical experts suggested that his parents' occupation explained his atypical gavel shape at birth. Without a mouth, he learned to talk by resonating sound frequencies up and down his handle. It was originally difficult for Jones to get into football given his lack of arms or legs, but he continued to grow very large and strong for his age, convincing youth coaches to take a chance on him. As far as doctors could tell, he lacked a brain entirely, making him unsusceptible to the typical subconcussive hits that cause devastating brain damage in linemen. This strength, combined with his very large size, lead coaches to try him at the offensive line position in his youth. Football was Jones' only hobby growing up; he was unable to read without eyes and was unable to write without hands.
College career
Jurisprudence Jones' solid frame and fearsome strength made him a coveted college prospect, being rated as a 3-star recruit by consensus. However, having grown up in the backyard of Texas A&M, Jones was uninterested in attending any other school. He committed to Texas A&M as a walk-on despite offers from Oklahoma State, Houston, and Sam Houston State. He redshirted his first year, but strong performances in practice earned him an upgrade to scholarship status. His unusual shape frequently bewildered coaches, as, without muscles, it was difficult to tell where his powerful blocking came from. However, Jones' hard work in practice earned him a spot as the second-string guard for his redshirt freshman year, where he played two games as an injury replacement. He was named the starting left guard for his sophomore year, but suffered a fractured handle in the season opener and was unable to play the rest of the season. Another strong performance in camp earned him the starting left tackle spot for his junior season. Jones performed well this season and was named to the first team All-SEC. Following his strong season, he declared for the DSFL draft. Citing concerns about his shape, pundits expected him to be a late-round flier or an undrafted waiver pickup.
College career statistics
| Career statistics | Offensive Line | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Season | Team | Games | Pancakes | Sacks Allowed |
| 2059 | Texas A&M | 0 | Redshirted | |
| 2060 | Texas A&M | 2 | 1 | 0 |
| 2061 | Texas A&M | 1 | 5 | 0 |
| 2062 | Texas A&M | 14 | 113 | 1 |
Professional career
| Ht | Wt | 40‑yd dash | 20‑ss | 3‑cone | Vert jump | Broad |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 ft 7 in (2.01 m) |
325 lb (147 kg) |
Professional career statistics
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Achievements and records
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