Awkward Sexjoke

Awkward Sexjoke

Glamour shot
No. 69 – Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
Position:	Safety
Personal information
Born:	(2014-06-09)June 9, 2014 (aged 46) Saskatchewan Public School System Internet Network, Canada, Canada
Height:	6 ft 1 in (1.85 m)
Weight:	215 lb (98 kg)
Career information
High school:	Holy Cross High School
College:	Greendale Community College
DSFL Draft:	2034  / Round: 3 / Pick: 9
ISFL Undrafted:	2035
Career history
Myrtle Beach Buccaneers (2034 (S19)-2034 (S19))
Roster status:	Active
Career DSFL statistics
Total tackles: 35 Tackles for loss: 14 Sacks: 6

Awkward Maryanne Sexjoke (born June 9, 2014) is an American football safety for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL). He played college football for Greendale Community College before being drafted by the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers in the 2034 DSFL Draft (S19).

Early years

Awkward Sexjoke (pronounced Howard Say-Jeaux) was born to Mortimer and Brunhilda Sexjoke of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Canada in mid 2014 during a selfie gone wrong at a Irish style BBQ restaurant. Awkward is the eldest of two children along with younger sister Filthy (pronounced Sara) who later became a nun. The family was very well off during Awkward's childhood. Mortimer owned a custom shop making high end grills for rappers and hockey players while Brunhilda was in demand as a scarf creator for small bears. Awkward would say his family was very close. Not in the way you think. They just enjoyed standing very near to one another. Awkward excelled in football and lacrosse in high school as well as being an excellent creative writer who made several popular characters that made him the most famous person in Saskatoon. He graduated with honors and was named All-Province on so many things that his Letterman's jacket weighed at least three maybe six times as much as anyone else's from all the patches.

College career

Awkward accepted a scholarship to Greendale because he really wanted to go to Colorado. He had intially decided to stay with his fmaily close to home but changed his mind at the last moment and was gone a few days later. During his Freshman season in Greendale he starred as DE, OL, and Kick Returner, leading the team to a 3 win season for the first time in school history. By the time he was a Junior, Awkward had also become a Math professor at the school, and the team won 5 games. Awkward played Quarterback for several games as well as being the Defensive Coordinator (and planning the school's spring dance where only two people nearly died). As a Senior, Awkward managed to lead the team in sacks, tackles, receptions, and holding penalties while also briefly becoming the Vice-Dean of the college until he was removed for not accepting bribes.

College career statistics

Come back to this bit. Not sure how to generate the table yet

Professional career

DSFL career

Coming into the DSFL Draft, Awkward was a bit of a mystery but was also a clearly gifted DE. He fell to the ninth pick and rewarded the Buccaneers for the choice by performing extremely well and finishing in the top 10 of the DSFL in both sacks and Tackles for Loss. While a relatively quiet player, his onfield success made GMs take notice, though not too much notice. He seemed destined to be picked in the second round for reasons unknown. Then right as the season ended he appeared at team HQ over a hundred pounds lighter, several inches shorter, and proclaiming he was a Safety now. No one understood how it was even possible, but as such things were fairly commonplace in the NSFL and DSFL no one batted too much of an eye at it. The news sent NSFL GMs into a tizzy and changed his draft stock drastically to also second round.

Pre-draft measurables

Ht	Wt	40‑yd dash	20‑ss	3‑cone	Vert jump	Broad
6 ft 1 in (1.85 m)	215 lb (98 kg)

Professional career statistics

Come back to this later

Achievements and records

Come back to this later ""