Thomas Passmann

Thomas Passmann

No. 22 – Tijuana Luchadores
Position:	Wide Receiver
Personal information
Born:	(2006-06-06)June 6, 2006 (aged 56) Dar es Salaam, Tanzania
Height:	6 ft 3 in (1.91 m)
Weight:	217 lb (98 kg)
Career information
College:	Hogwarts School of Magic
DSFL Draft:	2016  / Round: 5 / Pick: 36
Career history
Roster status:	Active

Thomas Passmann (born June 6, 1996) is an American football wide receiver for the Tijuana Luchadores of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

Little is known about Thomas Passmann's early life. In fact, there are very few records that prove his existence, other than a sole photo of him playing football in front of a graveyard, estimated to be taken around the age of 12. Rumors are that Passmann willingly contracted vampirism some time in his early teens, and was drawn to the lifestyle by his strong fascination with death. His parents shunned him from his family after discovering his morbid interests, but they mysteriously disappeared a few months later. Presumed dead. His newfound vampirism enhanced his athleticism, and seeing an opportunity to have easy access to crowds of people, Passmann decided to pursue a football career.

College career

Hogwarts School of Magic is better known for its quidditch team, but it has a bit of an underground football team. The spells of opposing wizards were no match for Passmann's enhanced vampiric strength, and he plowed through the competition with ease. When scouting footage got out, Tommy Helanen's agent picked up on it and made a few phone calls to Passmann. The agent expressed interest, but also the intent to finish out his current client's career first before taking on any new protege. Helanen conveniently died of a heart attack a few days later, and Passmann signed with the agent. Passmann declared for the DSFL draft a few days later.

College career statistics

			Receiving					Rushing
Season	Team	GP	Rec	Yds	Avg	Long	TD	Att	Yds	Avg	Long	TD
2017 (S2)	ISFL	14	81	1315	16.2	19	12	4	39	9.8	18	0

Professional career

DSFL career

On the backing of strong praise from a veteran agent, Thomas Passmann was drafted 36th overall in the DSFL Entry Draft by the Tijuana Luchadores in spite of being an open Satanist and widespread suspicions of him being a vampire. Surprisingly, the Luchadores were not even the only team to express interest in him. Passmann started out strong, even having the highest receiving yards in the league at the beginning of his career. He has since lost that title, but has had a knack for finding himself in the midst of trouble. His entire season has been mired in controversy, with the FBI and local Tijuana law enforcement reportedly closing in on him. Passmann was spotted by both media and FBI surveillance making a long journey to California after stuffing a human-sized duffel bag in his car. Evidence was also obtained that Passmann was tampering with the world's toilet paper supply to plunge society into chaos, and strange writings in the Tijuana locker room proclaiming "KILL THEM ALL", among other things, were linked to the wide receiver. Citizens of Tijuana demanded that Passmann was locked up, and this protest even resulted in a trending Twitter hashtag. This culminated in Passmann being arrested on charges of first degree murder on March 22nd, but somehow he was able to find some blood money to post his massive bail and return to the field for the playoffs.

Passmann was voted into the Pro Bowl for his strong rookie season. Scouts explained that he was able to secure a lot of receptions, and that his speed differentiated him from many first year players.

Pre-draft measurables

Ht	Wt	40‑yd dash	20‑ss	3‑cone	Vert jump	Broad
6 ft 3 in (1.91 m)	217 lb (98 kg)	4.2 s	3.8 s	7.02 s	35 in (0.89 m)	8 ft 5 in (2.57 m)

NSFL career

Thomas Passmann was projected to go in the 40-50 range before the draft; in spite of the training he had done, his controversial status plunged him into a lower tier. Quite a few teams wanted to avoided spending a high pick on a wild, chaotic character. Many expected Passmann to follow the footsteps of his agent's last player, Tommy Helanen, and head to the Yellowknife Wraiths. The two teams had reportedly had pleasant conversations, and some brief interactions between Passmann and Yellowknife's players were recorded a few weeks back. But on draft day, it ended up being the Arizona Outlaws who selected him 44th overall. Arizona traded to acquire the pick to select him, and was quick to sign the young wide receiver for 3 years on a sensible deal. Early reports out of Arizona claim that after the draft, chaos ensued in the city, and many are attributing the burning buildings and injuries to Passmann's handiwork.

Passmann was expected to return to Tijuana in the minors, but after speaking with his GM, he will be immediately heading up to the pros to play for Arizona. There is some indication that his GM was coerced into allowing this, and it will remain to be seen how Passmann will adjust to the NSFL. He does have considerable speed for a player just coming out of juniors, but in such a quick, high-tempo league, he will need to be even faster to play with the best. Passmann says that he "does not fear" a starting role in the big leagues, and that he has "been waiting for this from the very beginning."

Professional career statistics

			Receiving					Kick Returns			Punt Returns
Season	Team	GP	Rec	Yds	Avg	Long	TD	Yds	Avg	KR TD	Yds	Avg	PR TD
2036 (S21)	Luchadores	14	64	831	13	37	3	134	13.4	0	68	8.5	0

Achievements and records

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