Thomas Passmann

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Thomas Passmann
Passmann.gif
No. 22 – Tijuana Luchadores
Position:Wide Receiver
Personal information
Born: (2006-06-06)June 6, 2006 (aged 54)
Dar es Salaam, Tanzania
Height:6 ft 3 in (1.91 m)
Weight:217 lb (98 kg)
Career information
College:Hogwarts School of Magic
ISFL Draft:2016 (S) / Round: 5 / Pick: 44
DSFL Draft:2016 (S) / Round: 5 / Pick: 36
Career history
Roster status:Active

Thomas Passmann (born June 6, 1996) is an American football wide receiver for the Tijuana Luchadores of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

Little is known about Thomas Passmann's early life. In fact, there are very few records that prove his existence, other than a sole photo of him playing football in front of a graveyard, estimated to be taken around the age of 12. Rumors are that Passmann willingly contracted vampirism some time in his early teens, and was drawn to the lifestyle by his strong fascination with death. His parents shunned him from his family after discovering his morbid interests, but they mysteriously disappeared a few months later. Presumed dead. His newfound vampirism enhanced his athleticism, and seeing an opportunity to have easy access to crowds of people, Passmann decided to pursue a football career.

College career

Hogwarts School of Magic is better known for its quidditch team, but it has a bit of an underground football team. The spells of opposing wizards were no match for Passmann's enhanced vampiric strength, and he plowed through the competition with ease. When scouting footage got out, Tommy Helanen's agent picked up on it and made a few phone calls to Passmann. The agent expressed interest, but also the intent to finish out his current client's career first before taking on any new protege. Helanen conveniently died of a heart attack a few days later, and Passmann signed with the agent. Passmann declared for the DSFL draft a few days later.

College career statistics

Receiving Rushing
Season Team GP Rec Yds Avg Long TD Att Yds Avg Long TD
2017 (S2) ISFL 14 81 1315 16.2 19 12 4 39 9.8 18 0

Professional career

DSFL career

On the backing of strong praise from a veteran agent, Thomas Passmann was drafted 36th overall in the DSFL Entry Draft by the Tijuana Luchadores in spite of being an open Satanist and widespread suspicions of him being a vampire. Surprisingly, the Luchadores were not even the only team to express interest in him. Passmann started out strong, even having the highest receiving yards in the league at the beginning of his career. He has since lost that title, but has had a knack for finding himself in the midst of trouble. His entire season has been mired in controversy, with the FBI and local Tijuana law enforcement reportedly closing in on him. Passmann was spotted by both media and FBI surveillance making a long journey to California after stuffing a human-sized duffel bag in his car. Evidence was also obtained that Passmann was tampering with the world's toilet paper supply to plunge society into chaos, and strange writings in the Tijuana locker room proclaiming "KILL THEM ALL", among other things, were linked to the wide receiver. Citizens of Tijuana demanded that Passmann was locked up, and this protest even resulted in a trending Twitter hashtag. This culminated in Passmann being arrested on charges of first degree murder on March 22nd, but somehow he was able to find some blood money to post his massive bail and return to the field for the playoffs.

Passmann was voted into the Pro Bowl for his strong rookie season. Scouts explained that he was able to secure a lot of receptions, and that his speed differentiated him from many first year players.

Pre-draft measurables
Ht Wt 40‑yd dash 20‑ss 3‑cone Vert jump Broad
6 ft 3 in
(1.91 m)
217 lb
(98 kg)
4.2 s 3.8 s 7.02 s 35 in
(0.89 m)
8 ft 5 in
(2.57 m)

NSFL career

Thomas Passmann was projected to go in the 40-50 range before the draft; in spite of the training he had done, his controversial status plunged him into a lower tier. Quite a few teams wanted to avoided spending a high pick on a wild, chaotic character. Many expected Passmann to follow the footsteps of his agent's last player, Tommy Helanen, and head to the Yellowknife Wraiths. The two teams had reportedly had pleasant conversations, and some brief interactions between Passmann and Yellowknife's players were recorded a few weeks back. But on draft day, it ended up being the Arizona Outlaws who selected him 44th overall. Arizona traded to acquire the pick to select him, and was quick to sign the young wide receiver for 3 years on a sensible deal. Early reports out of Arizona claim that after the draft, chaos ensued in the city, and many are attributing the burning buildings and injuries to Passmann's handiwork.

Passmann was expected to return to Tijuana in the minors, but after speaking with his GM, he will be immediately heading up to the pros to play for Arizona. There is some indication that his GM was coerced into allowing this, and it will remain to be seen how Passmann will adjust to the NSFL. He does have considerable speed for a player just coming out of juniors, but in such a quick, high-tempo league, he will need to be even faster to play with the best. Passmann said that he "does not fear" a starting role in the big leagues, and that he has "been waiting for this from the very beginning."

His rookie season with Arizona was rather quiet and uneventful compared to the pandemonium Passmann was known for. The Outlaws GM figured out a way to get the wild spirit in line, and his DSFL performance translated to the big leagues more than expected. Arizona commentators were impressed from the outset by Passmann's speed, which was his sole focus in training both during the offseason and in the midst of the regular season. While the team's youth was likely the reason the Outlaws missed the playoffs, Passmann has been learning admirably well. His fellow rookies named him a leader at the development camp, and this statement does not appear to have been coerced this time.

However, while new incidents have been few and far in between, new information has emerged about his murder trial, and new rumors with it. The district attorney's office confirmed that a date has been set for Passmann's murder trial, and that they had requested for no bail to be set, as they believed he posed a flight risk. They were alarmed to find Passmann off on a vacation to Europe, touring various sites of importance across the continent. To their relief, he has returned to Arizona to join his team's delegation to the draft. It was leaked to the press that police were investigating if Passmann had poisoned deceased Wraiths receiver Tommy Helanen. This rumor has neither been confirmed or denied, but it seems that the current charges filed against him could be the first of many. It would be difficult for the Outlaws to lose a player to prison, with no compensation, which is why they are believed to be paying his legal fees. It could explain the lack of Passmann's antics, as in return, Arizona may have had the vampire agree to settle down for awhile.

Passmann came back with noticeable improvements in his game, and received praise from his coaching staff for his diligence over the summer. He was moved up the lineup, surpassing a fellow young wide receiver in his development. His offensive contributions played into Arizona's marked improvement in a break-even season, although the longer season seemed to take a toll on his performance at the end. But his speed allowed him to gain a lot of yards and score some key touchdowns, and Outlaws fans were pointing him out as a player to watch in the following season. The third year is a charm, and they were expecting him to obliterate his personal records.

However, Passmann wouldn't be Passmann if his season wasn't mired in controversy. After the FBI barged into his house due to audio evidence of a kidnapping victim at his house, they found mountains of incriminating evidence and are talking with the prosecutors office about bringing him up on more charges. If he ends up behind bars again, he will of course be unable to play in the upcoming season. His only hope is to get the case dismissed by attacking the warrant, which his lawyers have already filed a motion to dismiss all evidence gathered from the raid. The Outlaws made no comment on the latest drama from the Satanic wide receiver, but rumors have leaked out to the press that their general managers are outraged at Passmann's latest misdeeds. Thomas Passmann has not even denied the latest accusations, but rather decided not to give any comment at all.

The next season went by with few incidents, and Passmann managed to stay out of the spotlight, with his only story the broke in the news being one of him working to raise money at a charity fundraising event. The past could not be forgotten though after all that the vampire had put this city through. With more charges possibly on the horizon, Arizona decided to leave Passmann exposed in the expansion draft. One of the best players, and a young one too, left exposed, his controversial nature is likely the explanation for why he was left unshielded. Expansion teams did come knocking, but Passmann was able to scare them off by being himself. It seems he will be an Outlaw for another year despite Arizona's best efforts to rid themselves of his Satanic influence. If you were just looking at how he played on the field, an expansion team would have snapped him right up; Arizona really turned their franchise around this season, and strong performances from their young players are a big reason why. The wide receiver is reportedly willing to do whatever it takes to win in the upcoming season, and his team has reportedly already drafted a pre-emptive statement that says that they do not condone violence against their opponents. While they may not have called for violence against enemy teams, they aren't doing much to stop him or discourage it. All that Passmann has heard so far is that his team wants him to be more agile in the future. Some critical commentators noticed that he was not good at dodging tackles from the big bulky defenseman. His swiftness on his feet means nothing if he isn't nimble enough to evade the most well positioned defensive line.

Professional career statistics

Receiving Kick Returns Punt Returns
Season Team GP Rec Yds Avg Long TD Yds Avg KR TD Yds Avg PR TD
2036 (S21) Luchadores 14 64 831 13 37 3 134 13.4 0 68 8.5 0
2037 (S22) Outlaws 13 51 539 10.6 45 3
2038 (S23) Outlaws 16 63 897 14.2 51 9
2039 (S24) Outlaws 16 65 998 15.4 52 4

Achievements and records

Use this section as an example. ""