Patty Pumpernickel

Patty Pumpernickel

No. 50 – Kansas City Coyotes
Position:	Offensive Lineman
Personal information
Born:	(2023-03-03)March 3, 2023 (aged 38) Twin Peaks, California, U.S.
Height:	5 ft 10 in (1.78 m)
Weight:	310 lb (141 kg)
Username:	Kelsbells
Career information
High school:	Twin Peaks High
College:	David Lynch University
Career history
Roster status:	Active

Patty Pumpernickel (born March 3, 2003) is an American football offensive lineman for the Kansas City Coyotes of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

Patty Pumpernickel played high school football at Twin Peaks High School on the offensive line and was the first female non-kicker to play in an California Division III high-school football game She dropped out of Lynch College in her 2nd year, she had attended Ursuline on a track scholarship She went on to pursue a career in weightlifting. She stands 5 feet 10 inches (1.73 m) tall. Her in-competition weight was 370 pounds (170 kg). Her personal weightlifting record total is 255 kilos (562.2 pounds) from a 110 kilo (242.5 pounds) snatch and 145 kilo (319.7 pounds) clean and jerk. That aggregate total landed her one of two spots on the US Olympic Team. However, before she got a chance to compete, she tore a tendon in her wrist and required three cortisone shots before the super heavyweight competition. Mangold placed tenth out of the 14 weightlifters in her division. Devesated, she retired from weightlifinting immediately after.

College career

David Lynch University did not have a college football team, she instead would train with neighboring schools in an attempt to keep her weight down after her weightlifting gains. She initially did not intend to play football, until some highschool friends recommended she help them out while they drilled QBs and defensive lines. When no high school male could get around her, she tried with some college level players. And that's when she was noticed by a scout and advised to try a professional career in football. She played in UCL for a single season, giving up zero sacks, and averaging 5 pancakes per game. She is set to be the first woman drafted into professional football. She has taken a liking to Kansas City's DE Greg Strongjaw, claimed ownershop of him, and is demanding to be drafted by the Kansas team. As of yet, nobody has dared to say no to her.

College career statistics

Career statistics			Offensive Line
Season	Team	Games	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
2048 (S33)	DLU	14	70	0

Professional career

2048

Pumpernickel was claimed on waivers at the conclusion of the trade deadline for a four game tryout with the Kansas City Coyotes. She managed 14 pancakes in 4 games with Kansas, while earning a game ball in week 12 against Bondi Beach Buccaneers. In these games, Patty did not give up a single sack, nor any penalties. Kansas made the playoffs with a 7-7 record, where Patty played one more game, finishing with 2 pancakes, and once more no sacks allowed or penalties. The team, however, lost to the Minnesota Grey Ducks. After the season was over, Patty proposed to Greg Strongjaw, and put a ring on his finger before he could answer. He has declined to comment on the situation since then. Patty awaits the results of the class of s35 draft, but has warned several GMs away from taking her away from her man. She will not be changing her name, but she is having him get a tattoo of her face on his calf.

Pre-draft measurables

Ht	Wt	40‑yd dash	20‑ss	3‑cone	Vert jump	Broad
5 ft 10 in (1.78 m)	310 lb (141 kg)

Professional career statistics

Use this page to get the stats table template.

! colspan="2" | Offensive Line

! Pancakes !! Sacks Allowed

| 14 || 0

Achievements and records

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