Ben Slothlisberger

Ben Slothlisberger

Ben Slothlisberger is known for playing with a pack of smokes tucked into his pants.
No. 6 – Tijuana Luchadores
Position:	Quarterback
Personal information
Born:	(2026-06-09)June 9, 2026 (aged 36) The Moon, Space, Hungary
Height:	6 ft 7 in (2.01 m)
Weight:	260 lb (118 kg)
Career information
High school:	Lansing Catholic
College:	Central Michigan
ISFL Undrafted:	2037
Career history
Roster status:	Active

Ben Slothlisberger (born June 9, 2026) is an American football quarterback who is currently playing for the Tijuana Luchadores in the DSFL. He played college football for Central Michigan (CMU) before being drafted with the fourth overall pick in the 2037 ISFL Draft (S22).

Early years

The early years of Ben Slothlisberger are largely unknown, as no one really knew Ben until he enrolled at Lansing Catholic high school. One day Slothlisberger appeared in the office of Cougars' head coach Jim Ahern letting him know that he wanted to be the school's quarterback. Ahern was suspicious at first. There were no records of Slothlisberger playing football anywhere in the state of Michigan or any of the surrounding states. Internet searches of "Ben Slothlisberger" also returned no results, which perplexed the Lansing Catholic coaching staff. They figured at that point they would invite the would be QB to a practice just to see what he was all about. Quickly Ben wowed the coaches with arm strength that was out of this world. It was obvious Slothlisberger needed some coaching up, but the raw talent was there. After practice, Ahern grabbed Slothlisberger to let him know he had made the team.

"Where did you say you were from again son?"

Ben: "Oh, I didn't say.... but I'm from the moon."

The coach was perplexed, but did think to himself that the change in gravity would explain why Slothlisberger was so slow. No one decided to ask any questions about Ben Slothlisberger's origins, and he went on to break almost every school record at Lansing Catholic, leading them to back-to-back perfect seasons in his junior and senior years. Despite his success at the high school level, he did not receive many offers from power house schools, and Slothlisberger opted to stay in state and go to Central Michigan University.

College career

Ben Slothlisberger started as a true freshman for the Central Michigan Chippewas, starting from day one due to his advanced physical development. The Chippewas would go a respectable 8-5 in their first season with the young Slothlisberger at QB, ultimately losing in the Famous Idahos Potato Bowl against Wyoming. The team would improve in Slothlisberger's sophomore year, with an overall record of 10-3 and achieving a bowl win in the Little Caesars Bowl over Purdue. In his final two seasons, Central Michigan did not lose a single game as Slothlisberger led them to their first two National Championships. There are rumors that the school will be erecting a statue of Slothlisberger in front of their football stadium.

Slothlisberger ended his career at Central Michigan holding every major quarterback record. He amassed over 16,000 career passing yards and 169 career touchdowns. He left the school owning their record for most career completions and highest career yards per pass average. Ben Slothlisberger helped turn Central Michigan University into a recruiting powerhouse where they still stand with the top of the college ranks to this day.

College Scouting Reports: DSFL Network draft analyst Mock Mayike said, “From a physical skill set, I think Slothlisberger has the biggest arm in the draft. I think he has a quicker release than any of the other QB's. He’s tough. I think he played behind a very poor offensive line without a whole lot of help. When I look at that kid and what he did on tape, he can make throws that I don’t think the other kids can make.”

Anonymous scouts: An athletic player with "good body control, good feet and good change of direction."

"Loves to compete, will get after you, and hates to lose."

"Very bright, learns and retains football well, is a quick study."

"We put on his highlight tape, and I see the strong arm, quick release, consistent velocity and leadership abilities. There are also some negatives—throwing off his back foot, floating the ball and overall footwork—but coaches say those deficiencies could be overcome with time and proper instruction."

College career statistics

Career statistics			Passing								Rushing
Season	Team	Games	Cmp	Att	Pct	Yds	Y/A	TD	Int	Rtg	Att	Yds	Avg	TD
Template:2036	ISFL	13	420	520	80.7%	4,589	11	44	13	150.4	5	4	0.8	0

Professional career

DSFL career

Ben Slothlisberger was ruled eligible for the Season 21 DSFL draft. He had a few private workouts for teams, but mostly Slothlisberger was looking forward to putting his skills on display during the Prospect Bowl where he was placed on the Indianapolis Iguanas. The Iguanas appeared to have a bevy of talent on the offensive side of the ball, so Slothlisberger looked to have a good Prospect Bowl in anticipation of the DSFL draft.

The Prospect Bowl started out great for Slothlisberger and the Iguanas. Their first game was a hard fought win, with Ben Slothlisberger throwing a touchdown in the effort. The team's spirits were riding high going into game two, and they hoped to punch their ticket to the championship game. Unfortunately for the Iguanas they came up short in game two. Slothlisberger put on a pedestrian showing, and he was seen smoking numerous amounts of cigarettes on the sidelines. The press wondered if this performance would drop the large QB down DSFL teams' draft boards.

But the worries about Slothlisberger's draft stock were unfounded, as the young mooninite was selected in the first round, pick four by the Tijuana Luchadores. He was the third quarterback to be drafted after the Jack brothers went to the new DSFL expansion teams. In an interview after the draft Slothlisberger disclosed to the media that Tijuana was his top destination all along, and he was very excited to get to work for the fans in Mexico.

S21

Unfortunately for Slothlisberger and the Luchadores, their first season was very up and down. The team drafted another quarterback late in the DSFL draft, and Slothlisberger ended up splitting snaps with Jim Waters for the entire season. The team was mired by 1-1 stretches before breaking through with a 2-0 streak. Unfortunately they would go on a long losing streak that would result in the team missing the playoffs. The Luchadores would end up with a 6-8 record, disappointing the fans. Slothlisberger finished the season 7th in total attempts, 7th in total passing yards, 7th in completion percentage, 9th in total touchdowns, 1st in least interceptions (for starters), and 5th in QB rating.

Slothlisberger has been seen training hard in the off season in anticipation of the NSFL draft, and season 22 looks to be a big one for the young quarterback as he caps his DSFL build in the offseason.

Pre-draft measurables

Ht	Wt	40‑yd dash	20‑ss	3‑cone	Vert jump	Broad
6 ft 7 in (2.01 m)	260 lb (118 kg)

DSFL career statistics

Career statistics			Passing							Rushing
Season	Team	Games	Completed	Attempts	PCT	Yards	Touch downs	Interceptions	Rating	Attempts	Yards	Touch downs
2036 (S21)	TIJ	14	120	226	53.1	1222	4	4	67.4	2	-1	0
Total		14	120	226	53.1	1222	4	4	67.4	2	-1	0

Achievements and records

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