Rab Crab

Rab Crab

Rab lookin diced to the socks
No. 28 – Berlin Fire Salamanders
Position:	RB
Personal information
Born:	(2025-11-14)November 14, 2025 (aged 35) Pathhead, Scotland
Height:	2 ft 5 in (0.74 m)
Weight:	28 lb (13 kg)
Username:	Lancedjack
Career information
High school:	Dalkeith High
College:	University of Hawai'i
ISFL Draft:	2050  / Round: 1 / Pick: 14
DSFL Draft:	2049  / Round: 6 / Pick: 42
Career history
Portland Pythons (2049) Berlin Fire Salamanders (2050 - )
Roster status:	Active
Career highlights and awards
Cheddar Bay RB of the Year Pathheads Maddest Shagger

Rab The Crab (born November 14, 2030) is an American football Running Back who previously played for the Portland Pythons. He played college football for University of Hawai'i and was drafted in the 2050 draft in Round 1 at Pick 14 by the Berlin Fire Salamanders.

Early years

An elderly, wizened fisherman was out one night on his boat just off the coast of Dalgety Bay, hauling in his crab pots to see what he'd got, when one put up the fight of a life time. Not knowing what he'd hauled down there the elderly man pulled with all his might. He seized and grasped, with vim and vigour, but alas it was not to be and the creature pulled him under. What emerged from the sea on that black evening so many years ago?

Rab!

Rab the Crab emerged, quite happily dressed in the fishermans garb and picked himself up a fifty gram pouch of Drum tobbaco and set off on his merry way. He settled down in the quaint town of Pathhead where he picked himself up a nice two bedroom number. He lived there for plenty of time, shedding his shell and pruning his garden and whatever other shite crabs do I don't really know. A life of mediocrity was not to be for Rab however. He had his sights set on bigger things. With his enormous spiked red carapace and wily little crab legs he couldn't see himself sitting around Scotland gathering dust. It was one night, watching the television he had procured from his local Lidl that he saw an astonishing sight. The ISFL! What he wouldn't do to play there, under those lights, for all those fans. It then became Rabs goal, and only goal, to become a first overall fantasy pick in the ISFL.

High School Rating

US college sports recruiting information for high school athletes

Name	Hometown	High school / college	Height	Weight	Commit date
Rab The Crab RB	Pathhead	Dalkeith High	2 ft 5 in (0.74 m)	28 lb (13 kg)	May 15, 2045
	Recruiting star ratings: Scout:   Rivals:   247Sports:    ESPN grade: 96
Overall recruiting rankings:
Note: In many cases, Scout, Rivals, 247Sports, and ESPN may conflict in their listings of height and weight. In these cases, the average was taken. ESPN grades are on a 100-point scale. Sources:

College career

Rab eventually upped sticks and left the town of Pathhead and scuttled his way across the ocean floor to the island paradise of Stornoway. However, completely unimpressed by their lackluster black pudding and the fact the place is absolutely baltic, he continued on his quest. Eventually he landed himself smack dab on the isle of Hawaii. He crawled up from the surf and the foam onto the beach where the Universities running backs coach was sunning himself. Immediately upon clapping eyes on Rab he said "Jesus wept and all the saints that boy will be my running back!" What's next is history. Rab would go on to carry the ball with his patented sideways scuttle crab maneveur thing making him, essentially, an untacklable cunning crustacean. He'd scuttle his way from end zone to end zone and then back to the other end zone, scoring as many touchdowns as he had legs (However many legs crabs have) in a day. What a boy.

College career statistics

Career statistics			Rushing
Season	Team	Games	Att	Yards	Avg	TD
2045 (S30)	HAW	13	339	1925	5.7	15
2046 (S31)	HAW	11	221	1104	5.0	14
2047 (S32)	HAW	7	188	1012	5.4	12

DSFL Career

In a move shocking absolutely no one Rab was taken in the 6th round (41st Overall) in the S34 DSFL Draft by the Portland Pythons. A welcoming home with it's drizzle and fog would see Rab the Crab don an affinity for plaid shirts and beanie hats and IPA's along with furthering his affinity for finding the end zone and running down the park like a streaking red menace. Rab would quickly find his feet in the Pythons offense rushing for one hundred and thirty five yards and two touchdowns in his debut for the franchise in an away loss to Minnesota. Unfortunately it was not destined to the Cinderella story that the Crab dreamed of and he would find himself on the outside of the playoffs looking in at the rarest title in the ISFL, an Ultimini trophy. Rab would make his move thereafter to the ISFL, being drafted in a blockbuster draft day trade at the turn by the Berlin Fire Salamanders in a bid to one day hopefully live up to the legacy of GOAT TANK.

Professional career statistics

Career statistics			Rushing
Season	Team	Games	Att	Yards	Avg	TD
2049 (S34)	POR	14	223	1139	5.1	14
Total		14	223	1139	5.1	14

ISFL Career

Backing up a career legend like Goat Tank would prove to be a tricky task for the rookie running back with a limited number of carries available over the span of the season. Still with the limited opportunities available Rab would still manage to shine, averaging a wholesome 4.1 YPC and scoring 4 touchdowns over the course of the season, including one on debut. His receiving totals left a lot to be desired for the young rookie crab with only 3 receptions on the season leaving him looking rather pedestrian. More work was required down the stretch and, unfortunately, Rab was unable to produce. Ideally Rab will need to turn a corner moving into the next season to prove capable of filling the vacant spot soon to be left by the incumbent Goat Tank. Time will tell if Rab is able to put in the work required to make that happen.

Professional career statistics

Career statistics			Rushing
Season	Team	Games	Att	Yards	Avg	TD
2049 (S34)	BER	14	61	251	4.1	3
Total		14	61	251	4.1	3