Mrs. Mchits

Mrs. Mchits

Mrs. "Stacks" McHits
No. 99 – Norfolk Seawolves
Position:	Offensive Lineman
Personal information
Born:	(1991-20-04)August 4, 1991 (aged 69) Butterville, New York, U.S.
Height:	5 ft 10 in (1.78 m)
Weight:	200 lb (91 kg)
Username:	Mamab
Career information
High school:	Butterville High School
College:	The Culinary Institute of America
DSFL Draft:	2046  / Round: 1 / Pick: 2
ISFL Undrafted:	2047
Career history
Norfolk Seawolves (2046 (S31))
Roster status:	Active
Career DSFL statistics
Sacks allowed: 0 Pancakes: 16
Player stats at ISFL.net

Mrs. "Stacks" McHits (born August 4, 1992) is an American football offensive lineman for the Norfolk Seawolves of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

On April 20th, 1991, Mrs. “Stacks” McHits was born to parents Cane and Ethyl (Sugar) Krusteaz in Butterville, New York. “Stacks” earned her nickname while out to family brunch, always consuming the most pancakes in the family. Additionally, growing up in the home, “Stacks” was often found outside playing with her siblings, Honey, Berry, Cocoa, Maple, Oaty, Margie, and Nannerpuss. Often underestimated, “Stacks” wanted to prove her abilities and competed often in local football related competitions, and quickly the family learned about her brute strength and incredible speed. “Stacks” although never really understanding much of the game, was able to block well and earned a spot on the local team, Silver Dollars. Cane, a pun master and creator of competition, realized that “Stacks’” love of brunch could really improve her game. Cane told his daughter that if she was able to get 5 or more pancakes in a game, he would take her to brunch that next morning. “Stacks” was thrilled, and continued to increase her wagers with her father, as well as continued to improve her game.

College career

As a female player, “Stacks” always felt the heat, and continued to prove herself and her abilities on and off the field. Despite the disdain of some of her teammates who believed that they “should not be getting the same stats as a rookie, No offence.”, “Stacks” racked up the pancake stats, and continued to perform well for the team. In a non-conference national tournament in Madison, against the Badgers, “Stacks” caught the eye of McKicks. Sconnie was impressed with her in-game plays, their trailing score, and although he hadn’t played the position much, he asked to play as a linebacker. His coach saw Sconnie’s determination, and leadership as a Captain and allowed him to play the position. As they matched up, McKicks found her pancakes extremely frustrating, but also exhilarating. “Stacks” was focused on the win on the field, and Sconnie was a bit more focused on the win off the field. After congratulating “Stacks” on the win, Sconnie was especially intrigued in her charm and wit off the field. Sconnie saw an opportunity, took a chance, and asked “Stacks” on a late-night date to Dominos. “Stacks” obliged and devoured more than half of a large pizza, and Sconnie fell head over heels love. Sconnie and “Stacks” married shortly after their senior seasons, both decided to change their last name to McHits, and the two haven’t stopped squaring up since.

College career statistics

Career statistics			Offensive Line
Season	Team	Games	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
2045	Culinary Institute of America	14	260	0

Professional career

Pre-draft measurables

Ht	Wt	40‑yd dash	20‑ss	3‑cone	Vert jump	Broad
5 ft 10 in (1.78 m)	200 lb (91 kg)
2047 ISFL scouting combine (S32)

Professional career statistics

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Achievements and records

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