Medicinal Toblerone

Medicinal Toblerone

No. 90 – Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
Position:	Offensive Lineman
Personal information
Born:	(1990-04-04)April 4, 1990 (aged 71) Bern, Switzerland
Height:	6 ft 7 in (2.01 m)
Weight:	340 lb (154 kg)
Username:	Juosu
Career information
College:	Bern University, Switzerland
Career history
Roster status:	Retired
Career DSFL statistics
Sacks allowed: 4 Pancakes: 30

Medicinal Toblerone (born April 4, 1990) was an American football offensive lineman. He played college football for Bern University, Switzerland.

Early years

Medicinal Toblerone is a very adorable little player from Switzerland. Born in a Toblerone factory in Bern, it was noted very early on that this particular piece of Toblerone had some very amazing medicinal qualities and was therefore studied for a long time. Despite this, he found an interest in becoming a football player and has since put on the jersey. It was very odd for a piece of Toblerone to have eyes and be able to speak and so he became very famous very quickly as a child. His light hearted nature made him very popular among his Swiss peers and he managed to bring happiness to a lot of people and decided he wanted to help more people by studying Medicine. His medicinal values grew over time and he was able to impress with his amazing knowledge. Everyone around him just immediately feels better. You should also try being around him, it just makes everyone much more cheerful!

College career

While attending med school in Bern, his home-town in Switzerland, Medicinal Toblerone fell in love with American Football and decided to pursue this hobby by moving to the US. It was a big decision and he was scared of being eaten in the notoriously fat country, but he was accepted right away thanks to his adorable googly eyes. Moving to the US was a big change for this little piece of Toblerone, but he managed to make it work, sharing a room with a classic American frat boy and sharing some of his amazing stories of the Swiss Alps. When it comes to football, Toblerone had to grow a lot and put on a lot of chocolate-y muscles, and did so with ease in the weight room, cheered on by his fellow friends. His medicinal properties helped his team as well, making everyone heal much faster and therefore it is a huge advantage to any team that has Medicinal Toblerone on their team, as injuries become basically a non-factor.

College career statistics

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Professional career

DSFL career

Medicinal Toblerone was drafted very late in the DSFL draft, for various reasons but most of all was because he basically told GMs that he would not be updating his player and therefore fell a very long way, to the 10th round and the 75th overall pick. It was kind of crazy to see how far he fell but it also made a lot of sense. As a 50 TPE Offensive Lineman he was just not going to be very useful. In the end, he was drafted by the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers and spent the season with them there. Myrtle Beach went 7-7 and Medicinal Toblerone had a decent season given his bad player, with 30 pancakes and 4 sacks allowed. It was a fairly uneventful season for Medicinal, as he was mainly preparing for the ISFL draft, the big goal of his life and career. Fighting to combine both this minor league career with his further studies of medicine made it difficult to really do well in both regards. That being said, he still managed to grab the attention of the major league GMs and many of them scouted him. He was often rumored to go to the New Orleans Second Line, where he had made friends previously and so many pundits expected him to be drafted there in the first round to them. As it happens, they were correct and Medicinal Toblerone was drafted much earlier this time around, at 10th overall to the New Orleans Second Line and will start his major career there soon.

Professional career statistics

Career statistics			Offensive Line
Season	Team	Games	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
2039 (S24)	Buccaneers	14	30	4