Melvin Murder-Moose
 Murder-Moose holding the jersey of his beloved former owner Daria Guava-Fresca. | |
| No. 67 – Colorado Yeti | |
|---|---|
| Position: | Linebacker |
| Personal information | |
| Born: | June 13, 2032 (aged 30) Newberry, Michigan |
| Height: | 6 ft 5 in (1.96 m) |
| Weight: | 230 lb (104 kg) |
| Career information | |
| College: | Michigan |
| Career history | |
| Roster status: | Active |
Melvin Murder-Moose (born June 13, 2032) is an American football linebacker for the Colorado Yeti of the International Simulation Football League (ISFL).
Contents
Early Years
Melvin the Moose was born in Newberry, Michigan, and like most moose he lived out his days in the isolated woods in the area. As he would wander, he would venture across the landscape of northern Michigan. He did not think much about life outside of his area in the upper peninsula, but that would change when he would meet a young superstar kicker, Daria Guava-Fresca. As Daria ventured into Michigan to join the Michigan Wolverines football team, she would spend her free time and spare moments wandering the forests and connecting with nature in the upper peninsula of Michigan. On one such trip, Daria ventured to find Melvin sitting in the woods. Recognizing his beauty and majesty, Daria became determined to make Melvin her new best friend. Together, the two spent many days hiking and venturing through the woods of the north. While companionship with a human was new to Melvin, Guava-Fresca would grow used to unusual companions in her football career. After many weeks of hanging with one another, Melvin became an inspiration to Daria and would continue to stay with her throughout her college and professional career.
College Career
While Daria continued to play for the Michigan Wolverines, Melvin would watch every game from the sidelines. Most of the team were terrified of this massive moose who would make his way into the football arena, but for coach Harbaugh, it wasn't that unusual. Melvin watched as Daria practiced as a kicker, and would continue to bellow as his way of cheering her on throughout practices and games. During her college career, Daria and Melvin became inseparable, and when there were a few roughing the kicker calls made, it was very clear that Melvin would continue to be a protector, as well as a friend for Guava-Fresca. As intimidations go, Melvin the moose made sure to leer down the opposing team, which became especially frightening as a moose will spend the month of September shedding their antler velvet. The bloodied mess atop Melvin's head made for an extra sensational component when he would come charging down the field toward other players.
Developmental Career
Tragedy struck Daria Guava-Fresca after her first season in the DSFL. When Melvin tragically murdered her, he let it be known that he was going to take over her identity, and her career. Instead of Daria being drafted, it was Melvin. Instead of Daria winning awards, it was Melvin. After being drafted to the Colorado Yeti, Melvin continued to stay down in the DSFL for a second season. The Yeti were determined to let Melvin continue to grow and learn more before being called up. During this time, Melvin continued his stint as the starting (and only) kicker and punter for the Norfolk Seawolves. This season the Murder-Moose did his best to be able to live up to the Guava-Fresca name and championship title of Kicker of the Year, but the year began with a very rough start. Melvin continued to miss field goals and extra points, and while the Seawolves were dominating, the field goal streak that Guava-Fresca was known for in her early career did not get passed to her beloved moose pet.
In the 5th week of games, Murder-Moose was awarded the gameball for Offensive Player of the Game against the Kansas City Coyotes. Continuing to keep the Coyotes pinned throughout the game, Murder-Moose had one of his better punting games this season, landing 200 total yards, and a massive 59 yard punt. Throughout the season, Murder-Moose would continue to do more punting, ending with a large average of punts, and a few massive punts for 70 yards.
Through a rough season, the Seawolves managed to clinch a playoff spot, and fought with Tijuana to the very end for that coveted home field advantage position. While they had suffered through two season losses to Tijuana, the Seawolves, and Melvin especially, would not let them take their Ultimini chance away. As true underdogs, the Seawolves defeated Tijuana in the fight for divisional champions with an overtime field goal made by Melvin. Celebrating, the Norfolk team willingly gave Melvin a game ball, and cake, knowing what might happen if they hadn't. While the Seawolves would lose in a close match to London, Melvin continued to make big plays for them throughout the end of the Ultimini.
| Ht | Wt | 40‑yd dash | 20‑ss | 3‑cone | Vert jump | Broad | BP | Wonderlic |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 ft 5 in (1.96 m) |
230 lb (104 kg) |
5.98 s | 5.55 s | 8.38 s | 18.4 in (0.47 m) |
4 ft 9.8 in (1.47 m) |
3 reps | 20 |
Developmental League Career Statistics
| Career statistics | Extra Points | Field Goals | Punts | ||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Season | Team | Games | XPM | XPA | XP% | FGM | FGA | FG% | <20 | 20-29 | 30-39 | 40-49 | 50+ | Lng | Punts | Yds | Avg | Inside 20 | Long |
| 2038 (S23) | Seawolves | 14 | 32 | 33 | 97 | 22 | 25 | 88 | 1/1 | 4/4 | 6/8 | 9/10 | 2/2 | 54 | 69 | 3070 | 44.5 | 11 | 62 |
| 2039 (S24) | Seawolves | 14 | 25 | 27 | 92.6 | 21 | 26 | 80.8 | 0/0 | 9/9 | 8/8 | 4/6 | 0/3 | 45 | 65 | 3051 | 46.9 | 5 | 71 |
Professional Career
THIS IS WHERE THE TEXT GOES
2040
2041
2042
2043
2044
2045
2046
2047
2048
Professional League Career Statistics
| Career statistics | Defensive Statistics | |||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Season | Team | Games | Tck | TFLs | Sack | PD | Int | Sfty | DefTD | FFum | FRec | Blk Pnt | Blk XP | Blk FG |
| 2040 (S25) | Yeti | 16 | 85 | 0 | 10 | 19 | 4 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 2041 (S26) | Yeti | 16 | 102 | 2 | 12 | 19 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 2042 (S27) | Yeti | 16 | 102 | 5 | 19 | 15 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 2043 (S28) | Yeti | 16 | 104 | 3 | 17 | 9 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 2044 (S29) | Yeti | 16 | 87 | 3 | 11 | 9 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 2045 (S30) | Yeti | 16 | 97 | 3 | 9 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 2046 (S31) | Yeti | 16 | 106 | 5 | 15 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 2047 (S32) | Yeti | 16 | 153 | 6 | 8 | 14 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 2048 (S33) | Yeti | 16 | 129 | 7 | 18 | 14 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 12 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Career | Yeti | 144 | 965 | 34 | 119 | 101 | 8 | 1 | 3 | 32 | 14 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Developmental Achievements and Records
- Team
- Ultimini Champion (1), 2038
- Ultimini Appearance (1), 2039
- Individual
- Pro-Bowl Kicker and Punter: 2038
- Kicker of the Year: 2038
Professional Achievements and Records
- Team
- Ultimus Appearance (2), 2040, 2047
- Individual
- Pro Bowl: 2040, 2041, 2042, 2043
- Defensive Rookie of the Year: 2040
- Linebacker of the Year: 2042
- Defensive Player of the Year: 2042
- Defensive Performance of the Year: 2042
