Traffic Cone

Traffic Cone

No. 73 – Minnesota Grey Ducks
Position:	Offensive Lineman
Personal information
Born:	(2042-09-28)September 28, 2042 (aged 22) Akron, Ohio, U.S.
Height:	6 ft 4 in (1.93 m)
Weight:	325 lb (147 kg)
Username:	Soysavant
Career information
High school:	Akron High School
College:	I Promise School
DSFL Draft:	2064  / Round: 2 / Pick: 15
Career history
Roster status:	Active
Career DSFL statistics
Sacks allowed: 0 Pancakes: 53
Player stats at ISFL.net

Traffic Cone (born September 28, 2042) is an American football offensive lineman for the Minnesota Grey Ducks of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL). He played college football at I Promise School and was selected by the Grey Ducks in the second round of the 2064 DSFL Draft.

Early years

Traffic Cone (born September 28, 2042) is an American offensive lineman from Akron, Ohio. Traffic Cone was adopted when he was 2 years old by Savannah and Jerry Cone after they found he had appeared in their car's trunk while out shopping and discovering Traffic had no biological family. Traffic's love for football can be traced back to when he was 12 years old watching his older brother, Mark Cone, play in a little league. During one practice, Traffic heard a coach chastise an offensive lineman for his poor performance, saying that a "traffic cone" could block better. Being a sentient traffic cone, this remark upset Traffic greatly and inspired him to become an offensive lineman himself to "show them what a traffic cone is capable of". He began playing organized football as a freshman at Akron High School, redshirting his first year and serving as a rotational backup his sophomore year. In his junior year, however, Traffic was made the starting left guard and saw great success for the rest of his high school career.

College career

After failing to receive any offers from top schools, Traffic joined I Promise School's brand-new college football program. Like in high school, Traffic redshirted his freshman year to hone his technique. He began his sophomore season as a backup, receiving playing time at right tackle, left guard, and left tackle. Despite limited team success, as I Promise went 2-10, Traffic held his own whenever called upon, allowing just 2 sacks when called upon. He was made the starter at his natural position, left guard, at the start of his junior year and had an excellent season, allowing 0 sacks in 12 games. Despite another poor season, with I Promise ending with a 3-9 record, Traffic was one of the few bright spots on the team which was enough to get on scouts' radars. Rather than returning for his senior season, Traffic declared for the draft, hoping to make his mark in the ISFL and make traffic cones everywhere proud.

College career statistics

Career statistics			Offensive Line
Season	Team	Games	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
Sophomore	IPS	6	21	2

Career statistics			Offensive Line
Season	Team	Games	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
Junior	IPS	12	49	0

Professional career

DSFL career

Traffic Cone's career in professional football began with the Minnesota Grey Ducks after being selected with the 15th overall pick in the 2nd round of the 2064 DSFL Draft. Traffic was brought in as part of an overhaul to the Grey Ducks' offensive line, an effort that saw them drafting 3 total offensive linemen to join veteran Oandon Lolanin to better protect quarterback Greg Hirsch. Traffic Cone's rookie season got off to a strong start as he averaged 5 pancakes per game over the first 7 games. However, his pancake production slowed significantly over the latter 7 games and he ended the season with 53 total pancakes, tied for 9th among all DSFL offensive linemen. What stood out more, was Traffic's pass protection. Traffic ended his rookie season with 0 sacks allowed, a perfect year in that regard. Furthermore, Traffic had the highest number of pancakes among all offensive linemen who allowed 0 sacks. This level of technical proficiency in his rookie season came as a surprise to many as Traffic was initially viewed as a project coming from a small, struggling college football program. As for Traffic himself, he seemed discontent in his end-of-season presser, expressing remorse for "not doing more to help make the playoffs". When asked about his season from a personal standpoint, he mostly shrugged off his statistical accomplishments, citing his coaches and Lolanin's mentorship as the reasons for his impressive season. He ended the presser stating he's "still gotta get better to see success at this level".

Pre-draft measurables

Ht	Wt	40‑yd dash	20‑ss	3‑cone	Vert jump	Broad	BP	Wonderlic
6 ft 4 in (1.93 m)	325 lb (147 kg)	5.67 s	5.15 s	7.92 s	21.2 in (0.54 m)	6 ft 0.6 in (1.84 m)	37 reps	25
2065 ISFL scouting combine (S50)

Professional career statistics

Career statistics			Offensive Line
Season	Team	Games	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
2064 (S49)	Grey Ducks	14	53	0

Achievements and records

Use this section as an example.

""

✔