Detective Crashmore

Detective Crashmore

Crashmore telling the other team that they suck
No. 80 – Yellowknife Wraiths
Position:	Tight End
Personal information
Born:	(2031-25-12)January 12, 2031 (aged 29) Washington, D.C., U.S.
Height:	6 ft 6 in (1.98 m)
Weight:	255 lb (116 kg)
Username:	Speculadora
Career information
College:	United States Naval Academy
ISFL Draft:	2055  / Round: 2 / Pick: 15
DSFL Draft:	2054  / Round: Undrafted
Career history
Portland Pythons (S39) Yellowknife Wraiths (S40 - Present)
Roster status:	Active

Detective Crashmore (born January 12, 2024) is an American football tight end who is currently a member of the Yellowknife Wraiths. He played college football for United States Naval Academy, and previously played for the Portland Pythons of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

Detective Crashmore was born and raised in a rough neighborhood outside of Washington, D.C., where he had to learn to fend for himself at a young age. He was in and out of trouble, and constantly picked fights in school. Every time he won a fight he would tell the other person that they suck. One of his teachers coached pee-wee football and thought that the sport would be a good outlet for Crashmore's overly aggressive nature. Although he continued to get in trouble and pick fights away from the field, he always had a passion for football and worked tirelessly to hone his skills on the field. Eventually he recognized that he wanted to be able to beat the hell out of people legally, and he thought that being a cop would be a great profession for that. His dreams of government-sactioned violence were put on hold, however, when he was recruited to play tight end by the United States Naval Academy.

College career

As a tight end at the United States Naval Academy, Crashmore has slowly established himself as one of the best players in college football. Despite being deployed mostly as a blocker in the Midshipmen's triple option offense, Crashmore was able to post 22 catches for 300 yards and 2 touchdowns. He improved those numbers to 44 catches for 451 yards and 5 touchdowns as a sophomore, then 40 catches for 494 yards and 7 touchdowns as a junior. As a senior, he set personal bests in receptions and yardage, with 56 catches for 558 yards and 6 touchdowns. Although he has been relatively prolific as a pass-catcher, Crashmore has excelled as a blocker, where his violent tendencies shine, and has gained a fairly large following for highlights of him physically dominating opposing players. Despite his impressive performance, Crashmore has also come to be known for his inability to control his emotions on the field. He constantly and repeatedly tells other players, coaches, and even referees that they suck, and racked up an unconscionable number of unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. ISFL scouts reportedly have concerns that his behavior may make him a toxic locker room presence and detriment to the team if he is unable to reign himself in at the professional level.

College statistics

Year	Team	Games			Receiving						Blocking
		GP	GS	Record	Rec	Yds	Avg	Drops	Lng	TD	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
2050	NAVY	9	8	5-6-0	22	300	13.6	3	17	2	15	1
2051	NAVY	11	9	7-5-0	44	451	10.3	1	26	5	23	0
2052	NAVY	12	12	9-3-0	40	494	12.4	0	18	7	37	2
2053	NAVY	12	11	8-4-0	56	558	10.0	1	34	6	45	0
Totals		44	40	29-18-0	162	1,803	11.1	5	34	20	120	3

DSFL career

Crashmore had an inauspicious start to his professional career, as he filed his draft paperwork a day too late and found himself ineligible for the DSFL draft. He was picked up by the Portland Pythons shortly after, however, and was thrust into the starting tight end role for the team. His longstanding issues with self control followed him to Portland, as he found himself competing for targets with receiver Plant Based, who wound up tying the single season DSFL receiving touchdowns record. Reports said that Detective Crashmore believed himself to be the superior athlete and weapon on offense, and routinely got into shouting matches with the team's quarterback, Donovan Winters III. As he has managed to do at every stop in his career thus far, Crashmore kept his personal beefs separate from his on-field performance, and posted some exceptional receiving numbers for a rookie tight end, with over 60 catches for more than 700 yards and 8 touchdowns. ISFL teams took note of Crashmore's developmental leap as a receiver, and some reportedly viewed him as the best all-around tight end in the class. Unfortunately, he could not dodge his longstanding off-field concerns and fell out of the first round. He didn't have to wait any further than the 15th pick, though, where he was scooped up by the league champion Yellowknife Wraiths.

DSFL career statistics

Year	Team	Games			Receiving						Blocking
		GP	GS	Record	Rec	Yds	Avg	Drops	Lng	TD	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
S39	POR	14	14	8-5-1	65	737	11.3	7	38	8	19	0
Totals		14	14	8-5-1	65	737	11.3	7	38	8	19	0

ISFL career

The mercurial tight end was once again thrust into a starting role in his first season with Yellowknife, but this time he struggled through some growing pains as he adjusted to the strength and speed of the game's top level of play. He was featured only lightly as a receiver, catching fewer than fifty passes for under 300 yards. He was used sparingly as a fullback, rushing seven times for just seven yards, and allowed five sacks as a blocker. The Wraiths were reportedly able to reign in Crashmore's erratic behavior, raising the question of whether or not his fiery attitude fuels his play. Crashmore has reportedly been training extensively in the off-season for a more featured role as an inline tight end, rather than the quasi-utility player he was deployed as as a rookie.

Crashmore's second season in the professional ranks saw him make developments as a pass catcher that shocked a lot of scouts around the league who essentially viewed him as a sixth offensive lineman coming out of the Naval Academy. He nearly doubled his reception and yardage totals, scored two additional touchdowns, and flattened five more defenders while allowing four fewer sacks than the season before. In short, Crashmore made an impressive sophomore leap toward being a complete tight end. It also came as a surprise to many that Crashmore did so without committing any violence toward the opposing team, with just one personal foul and four total penalties across his 16 starts. Heading into year three, the league now expects bigger things from Crashmore as the Wraiths offense is expected to take off if quarterback Absolute Unit continues to develop as the team expects, as Crashmore's progression came in a season in which the Wraiths finished just 6th in scoring offense and dead last in passing offense.

Prior to the ISFL's 42nd season - Crashmore's third as a pro - the ballyhooed tight end was rewarded with a one-year extension by Yellowknife, but disappointed after his year two baby-breakout, with both his reception total and yardage dropping by 17 and 131, respectively. He did make some improvements as a receiver, however, catching one more touchdown than the previous year with one less drop. The breakout that never was also seemed to take some of the edge out of Crashmore's game, as well, as he had 8 fewer pancakes than the year before. The blame for Crashmore's disappointing season wasn't squarely on his shoulders, however, as Yellowknife struggled and found themselves retooling for the following season at the trade deadline, ultimately hampering their offense. Heading into his fourth year, which will be a contract year for the Detective, reports once again suggested that Crashmore rededicated himself to improving his pass catching abilities, shedding some weight and displaying improved speed in camp.

Crashmore's fourth season was once again something of a let down from the somewhat lofty expectations set for him after training camp in the off-season. While Yellowknife made him a more featured piece of their passing attack each week, his efficiency numbers remained relatively pedestrian, with his 90 receptions going for just 645 yards and 3 touchdowns. He did, however, drop just 2 passes - a marked improvement from previous seasons. Once again, some of the disappointment fell on the Yellowknife offense as a whole. They ranked 9th in scoring offense, 13th in passing offense (although 5th in passing touchdowns), and won just 7 games. One positive for Crashmore was that his blocking prowess even as he made a concerted effort to become more of a receiving threat, recording another 50 pancakes with just one sack allowed. Heading into year five, it remains to be seen if Crashmore will remain a reliable safety valve in the Wraiths' offense, or if he can make the leap to a bonafide All-Pro level receiving threat.

ISFL career statistics

Year	Team	Games			Receiving						Blocking
		GP	GS	Record	Rec	Yds	Avg	Drops	Lng	TD	Pancakes	Sacks Allowed
S40	YKW	16	16	12-4-0	47	291	6.2	0	18	1	50	5
S41	YKW	16	16	10-6-0	77	566	7.4	6	77	3	55	1
S42	YKW	16	16	8-8-0	60	435	7.2	5	47	4	47	1
S43	YKW	16	16	7-9-0	90	645	7.2	2	62	3	50	1
Totals		64	64	37-27-0	274	1,937	7.1	13	77	9	172	8