A Waffle

A Waffle

No. 55 – London Royals
Position:	Linebacker
Personal information
Born:	(2036-01-01)January 1, 2036 (aged 25) Dinah's Family Restaurant, 6521 S Sepulveda Blvd, Los Angeles, California, U.S.
Height:	6 ft 1 in (1.85 m)
Weight:	230 lb (104 kg)
Username:	HalfEatenOnionBagel
Career information
High school:	Inglewood High School
College:	Culinary Academy
ISFL Draft:	2059  / Round: 1 / Pick: 2
DSFL Draft:	2058  / Round: 3 / Pick: 17
Career history
London Royals (2057 (S42)-2058 (S43))
Roster status:	Active

A Waffle (born January 1, 2036) is an American football linebacker for the London Royals of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

Sugar, spice......more sugar. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little waffle. But Dinah accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction.....CHEMICAL X. And thus, A Waffle was born! Having no children of her own at the time, Dinah chose to take care of A Waffle. Waffle's upbringing was anything but ordinary. "Born" as an already fully formed 6 foot tall waffle with the mind of an infant certainly contributed to that. Much like Frankenstein's monster, he found himself feeling very much alone in a world that struggled to accept him. But as he got older and his creator raised him as her own child, people came around on Waffle because of his friendly demeanor despite their initial shock at meeting a talking waffle. Things certainly were going as well as they could until Waffle discovered the game of football. The power, the grace, the touchdown celebrations. Waffle was immediately in awe of the sport. But when he went to try out for his school team at Inglewood High he didn't find the warm welcome he had hoped for. "Boy, I said boy, how in the heck are you supposed to catch a football with no arms", coach Leghorn yelled at him as he stumbled onto the field at tryouts. The other kids laughed at him too calling him names like "stickybutt", "Jamarcus Waffle" and "Wannabe Pancake". Waffle left, dejected, his hopes and dreams dashed just as soon as they had begun. "Why the long face kid?" a gruff voice said from a dark alleyway. Waffle wasn't quite sure if the voice was serious or just making fun of the fact that his body was also his face. A figure emerged from the shadows, it was none other than San Jose Sabercats star Orpheus Czargyros. Waffle was shocked and told Orpheus of his sad tale. "Listen, kid", he said as he snuffed out a candy cigarette, "people used to make fun of me too y'know. Always messing up my name. Now look at me, they still make fun of me, but I make a bunch of money and play professional football. Your life is what you make it, my fine fluffy friend. So what are you gonna make of yours?" From that day on, Waffle trained as hard as he could to become a football player. His height, size, and oh yeah that stickiness, actually made him a decent fit for tight end. When he got back on the field he was knocking heads left and right and making spectacular catches. Coach Leghorn was delighted, "Boy, I said boy, this might just work!!"

College career

Despite some decent success as a tight end in high school, Waffle received little to no interest from any major college programs. It seems despite everything he had done to make it to this point, there were still people in this world that would not be convinced into take a chance on a living waffle. Rumor has it a lot of college coaches had the feeling that NFL teams just weren't ready for that kind of a "freak" and thus it would be hard to justify making room for him on their teams when other future NFL stars could be given a chance to shine. Waffle feared that he was doomed to forever fight this prejudice against him but in his desperate state, his high school guidance counselor directed him to seek other paths in life that he was passionate about and that football alone was not the end all be all to his life. Wanting to follow in his mother's footsteps, Waffle applied to the Culinary Academy to pursue his second dream of becoming a world class pastry chef. Upon his arrival on campus, he was approached by the football coach who had seen some of his high school tape and offered him a chance to walk onto the team. Waffle was a standout at the Culinary Academy, though his stats don't necessarily tell that tale because of the level of talent around him. Nonetheless, Waffle was extremely happy with being able to pursue both of his passions, football and baking.

College career statistics

Career statistics			Receiving
Season	Team	Games	Rec	Yards	Avg	Lg	TD
2054 (S39)	CA	5	1	25	25.0	25	0
2055 (S40)	CA	10	20	290	14.5	32	6
2056 (S41)	CA	9	22	314	14.3	51	4

Professional career

DSFL career

With his path to the NFL still just a pipe dream, Waffle was prepared to give up hope on pursuing football any further after his time at the Culinary Academy. That is until a representative from the ISFL reached out to him suggesting he come to the league's open tryouts. Waffle expressed his unease because of his differences but the rep said that it was a place where his differences wouldn't be frowned upon, but fully embraced. Waffle made plans to attend the league's open tryouts where he had a decent showing. Sure enough, a few weeks later he received a call to let him know that he had been picked up on waivers by the London Royals after the S42 trade deadline. Waffle made a strong impression in practice with the team immediately as they made him a starter for the final 4 games of the season. However, Waffle showed that he had a lot of learning and adjustment to do in the big leagues as he didn't even manage to eclipse 100 yards over his 4 games nor did he score any touchdowns. Despite this lack of success, the Royals saw something special in Waffle as they drafted him to come back to the team in the third round of the S43 DSFL draft. During the offseason following the draft, the Royals head coach approached Waffle with a proposition: he wanted Waffle to try out playing linebacker where his size and intelligence would be more useful to the team as a whole. It was a rigorous offseason and training camp, but Waffle came into the season much better prepared and ready to take on this new challenge.

DSFL Season 1

A Waffle's first season in the DSFL went about as well individually as you could hope for despite the London Royals not making the DSFL playoffs. There were a lot of questions about how well he would be able to translate coming into the league due to having played at a much lower level of competition in college, being asked to switch to linebacker, a position he had never played before, and of course due to being a giant waffle. But those questions quickly evaporated as Waffle showed himself to be an absolutely tenacious linebacker with the ability to fly all over the field. Over the course of the season, he managed to rack up 12 sacks, second in the league only to hit teammate and fellow linebacker Cheecago Boucher. He also finished top 5 in a number of other statistical categories such as tackles and forced fumbles. At the end of the season Waffle was also selected as a DSFL all pro, highlighting his season as one of the best defensive players in the league. Coaches and scouts in the ISFL took notice as well, as Waffle was selected second overall in the ISFL Draft by the Chicago Butchers, a team desperately looking for playmakers as they continue to rebuild. Waffle did sometimes pull a disappearing act on the field, including one game in which he failed to record any stats at all which is a statistical wonder for a linebacker of his prowess.

Professional career statistics

Career statistics			Receiving
Season	Team	Games	Rec	Yards	Avg	Lg	TD
2057 (S42)	Royals	4	14	91	6.5	14	0

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