Troen Egghands

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Troen Egghands
Image of Troen Egghands
Troen Egghands in the 2035 BCS playoffs
No. 96 – Austin Copperheads
Position:Defensive End
Personal information
Born: (2013-06-09)June 9, 2013 (aged 47)
Barstow, California, U.S.
Height:6 ft 5 in (1.96 m)
Weight:280 lb (127 kg)
Career information
High school:Barstow High School
College:Fresno State
ISFL Draft:2037 (S22) / Round: 2 / Pick: 7
DSFL Draft:2036 (S21) / Round: 2 / Pick: 7
Career history
Roster status:Retired
Career highlights and awards
Career ISFL statistics as of Week 16, 2047
Total tackles:507
Tackles for loss:80
Sacks:74
Safeties:2
Career DSFL statistics
Total tackles:36
Tackles for loss:18
Sacks:6
Safeties:1

Troen Egghands (born June 9, 2013) is an American football defensive end who played college football for Fresno State. He was drafted by the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers as the 7th pick in the second round (15th overall) in the 2036 DSFL Draft (S21) where he won the Ultimini in his year there. In the following ISFL 2037 ISFL Draft (S22) he was drafted by the Austin Copperheads, again as the 7th pick in the second round (though 19th overall). He spent his entire career with the Copperheads, making the Pro Bowl 2 times, and retired following the 2047 (S32) season.

Early years

Troen Egghands, born Troen McBjornson, is an American football player. He was born in Victorville, California but grew up in nearby Barstow. He attended Barstow High School where he was a member of the cross-country team and played backup safety in his freshman year. Starting his sophomore year, he left the cross-country team to focus on football and was the starting defensive end from that point onward. He was a two-star recruit and received a scholarship to attend Fresno State in Fresno, California.

High school career statistics

High school statistics Tackles Sacks Interceptions Other
Season Team Games Reg TFL Total Sack Int IntTD DefTD FFum FRec PD Safety
2028 Barstow Aztecs 9 21 1 22 0 1 0 0 0 0 3 0
2029 Barstow Aztecs 12 38 3 41 6 0 0 0 1 0 1 0
2030 Barstow Aztecs 12 65 4 69 11 0 0 1 3 1 4 1
2031 Barstow Aztecs 12 48 3 51 8 0 0 0 1 0 1 0

College career

Troen played his first year at Fresno State as a true freshman albeit as part of the pass-rush rotation rather than a starter while the Bulldogs went 8-4 and played in the Kentucky Chicken/In-n-Out double-double Down Bowl, held in Phoenix, Arizona on December 27th, 2032. The Bulldogs won despite Troen's lackluster play as he had only one tackle and slipped to allow a 22 yard run in the second quarter. Troen's sophomore campaign started out reasonably well until the third game of the season where a poor landing after getting tripped by an opposing guard resulted in breaking both of his hands. Troen missed the next week with the injury but returned in the fifth week of the season with both hands in club-like casts. Despite this impediment, Troen helped lead the Bulldogs to a 62-28 victory over the USC Trojans with a performance including an improbable interception that Troen returned for a touchdown. From that point on, Troen produced sacks at a higher rate which he attributed to the casts, stating in a interview with ESPN, "I know it's weird, but I think breaking my hands was just what I needed to make the next step here in the NCAA. I might have to keep the casts on even after my hands are healed!" Most[citation needed] fans assumed the statement was hyperbole but Troen did in fact return with the casts in 2034 for his junior season. That season proved to be his best yet, and he legally changed his named to Troen Egghands in the offseason to honor the nickname his teammates had come up with. His senior year stats weren't quite as good but he was part of an impressive Fresno team that made the college BCS playoffs but lost to the eventual winner, Washington University in St. Louis. He graduated with a degree in economics and is expected to be drafted in the 2036 DSFL draft. In a pre-draft interview, he confirmed his plans to continue playing with the casts, saying "I don't want to mess with something that's both my signature and helping me produce at a high level."

College career statistics

College statistics Tackles Sacks Interceptions Other
Season Team Games Reg TFL Total Sack Int IntTD DefTD FFum FRec PD Safety
2032 Fresno Bulldogs 12 29 4 33 4 0 0 0 0 0 1 0
2033 Fresno Bulldogs 13 68 4 72 11.5 1 1 1 2 0 1 0
2034 Fresno Bulldogs 14 81 2 83 14.5 0 0 0 3 0 4 0
2035 Fresno Bulldogs 14 76 9 85 13 1 0 0 2 1 1 0

Professional career

DSFL

Myrtle Beach Buccaneers (2036)

Egghands met with several DSFL teams for pre-draft interviews and workouts which eventually culminated in being selected by the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers as the 7th pick in the second round (15th overall). The regular season started off fairly well with at least one tackle in each of the first 7 games. The week 10 game against the Minnesota Grey Ducks may have been his best as Egghands notched 5 tackles (3 for a loss), a sack, a safety, and the defensive player of the game honors in the Buccaneers' 32-12 win. However, in the last week of the season with homefield advantage on the line, Egghands didn't quite step up with only 1 tackle. Myrtle Beach won 27-20 despite that and the team went into the playoffs as the first seed. In the 18-0 shutout against the Seawolves in the conference game, Egghands was not the star but did manage a sack and a tackle for loss. The not standing out continued in the Ultimini with 3 tackles, 1 for a loss, as Troen was certainly not the top defender in the 27-10 win over Kansas City. Despite that, Egghands was satisfied, saying in an interview after the game, "Of course I don't mind that I didn't get stats myself - we won! I mentioned before the game that I try to help keep everyone on an even keel and moving forward for smooth sailing and so getting bent out of shape over not getting a sack is just not me." The team apparently was also fine with his production, as Egghands was elected one of the two defensive captains after the season was over and figures to help consult with the team in future seasons.

DSFL career statistics

DSFL regular season Tackles Sacks Interceptions Other
Season Team Games Reg TFL Total Sack Int IntTD DefTD FFum FRec PD Safety
2036 (S21) Myrtle Beach Buccaneers 14 18 18 36 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 1
DSFL post-season Tackles Sacks Interceptions Other
Season Team Games Reg TFL Total Sack Int IntTD DefTD FFum FRec PD Safety
2036 (S21) Myrtle Beach Buccaneers 2 4 1 5 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

ISFL

Pre-draft measurables
Ht Wt 40‑yd dash 20‑ss 3‑cone Vert jump Broad BP Wonderlic
6 ft 3 in
(1.91 m)
300 lb
(136 kg)
4.36 s 4.32 s 7.36 s 31.7 in
(0.81 m)
10 ft 5.8 in
(3.20 m)
40 reps 20

Austin Copperheads (2037-2047)

2037 (S22)

Entering the 2037 ISFL Draft (S22), Egghands was consistently mocked being drafted in the first round to several different teams. He unexpectedly fell to the Austin Copperheads in the second round with the Copperheads' GM gushing over the pick, saying "Thanks idiot other league, because like, Troen was great, and I think everyone's mock had him super high and he just like, fell for some reason...and we got really lucky to get him, like this was just- we weren't even expecting him to be here, so this was a slam dunk pick when it happened, y'know?" Egghands signed a 3 year contract with the Copperheads with a base salary of $1,000,000/year but an unusual playoff-game bonus of $69,420 for each playoff game he played in. When asked about this, Egghands said, "I wrote an article to the media saying that I think players should be paid for starting in a playoff game, and so this was my way of putting my money where my mouth is." Early draft optimism led to Egghands getting called up to the ISFL as a starter in the first season. He was a starter from week 1 but didn't produce stats anywhere close to his DSFL rate with his first sack coming in week 5. This somewhat paralleled the Copperheads' season which got out to a 1-4-1 record through the first 6 weeks. Both Egghands and the Copperheads heated up significantly, with Egghands getting 4 more sacks while the Copperheads won their last 7 regular season games to take the second ASFC seed into the playoffs. Egghands was unspectacular in the wild card round against the New Orleans Second Line with 3 tackles and no penalties as the Copperheads won 34-27 to make it to the ASFC championship against the Orange County Otters. In that game, Egghands had a bit more impact with a red zone sack and a tackle for loss. But, with only one other tackle, that wasn't enough to help put the game away and the Copperheads lost 50-38. As a bit of trivia, Egghands ended up with exactly the same stats in the previous year's DSFL playoffs as he did in the ISFL playoffs. Altogether, Egghands' rookie season was solid for a role starter but didn't show any particular breakout stats. With veteran DE Grayson Kuusela retiring after the season, the Copperheads coaching staff are hoping that Egghands can step up from role player into a star starter for the 2038 (S23) season.

2038 (S23)

Both Egghands and the Copperheads did make progress in the 2038 season. With the schedule expanded to 16 games from 13, Egghands increased his tackle rate by over 1/3 of a tackle per game up to an average of 2.75 tackles per game. He also increased his tackle for loss rate to nearly 1 per game, up more than 20%. Sack rate decreased somewhat with 6 total. Those improvements were part of the defense that allowed the Copperheads to get to an 8-8 record and make it to the 3rd seed in the ASFC. While the final record was lower than many preseason predictions had Austin achieving, the team was still happy to make it back to the playoffs. Egghands didn't play much of a part in the 2 road wins to make it to the Ultimus, with just one tackle for loss in each game. Still, the team did manage the two road wins to make it to the finals. With the long history of the Wraiths struggling in the Ultimus, there were hopes that the statistically inferior Copperheads would be the next in the line of teams to upset Yellowknife. That ended up not being the case as the Copperheads lost 38-13. Egghands did manage more impact in the Ultimus with 3 tackles, one for loss, but he also gave up a costly 10 yard penalty. In a game with 25 penalty yards from the Copperheads and 5 from the Wraiths, those were a costly 10 yards. With the Ultimus concluded, the Copperheads looked to be returning most of their starters from 2038 (S23), an important result in an offseason with a huge number of free agents moving around. Similarly to last year, Egghands is hoping to increase his impact to match fellow DE Idlewyld (76 tackles, 8 sacks) to help Austin's defense move up from middle of the pack in allowed points.

2039 (S24)

After the S23 Ultimus run, hopes were high in Austin for the 2039 (S24) season. Egghands made another improvement as far as personal performance, getting almost one more sack per game while maintaining count of tackles for loss and sacks. He additionally forced his first two fumbles for his ISFL career, recovering one against New Orleans in their meeting in week 4, which the Copperheads won 31-7. That win took them up to .500 at 2-2, a mark they re-reached at 4-4 after losing the next pair and then winning after that. A 4 game losing streak followed, however, taking Austin out of contention for a conference that ended up with 4 teams at 9-7. The season's end was especially bitter for the Copperheads as statistically they had excellent offensive performance featuring the most points scored in the conference. Defense was again a weakness, though, but given that they were 4th in the conference and 6th in the league, their record underperformed their scoring. Looking more deeply at the defense, they were last in the conference and 11th in the league for yards given up. Their rushing yards allowed (5th/9th) was marginally better than their passing yards allowed (6th/10th), but if anything it suggests that the defense overperformed by not giving up more points. The defensive weakness additionally showed in time of possession, which Austin only won in 5 games. That is likely an area that the Egghands and the Austin GMs will need to work to improve going into 2040 (S25). Egghands did sign a 3-year contract extension with Austin, keeping the second-round pick with the team through 2042 (S27). Egghands additionally made it to the Pro Bowl for the first time in the ISFL.

With a playoff game not in the cards for Egghands for the first time in his professional career, the offseason team activity and expansion became the next area of import. As Egghands wrote in an article, "Austin has a mostly older offense backed up by a mostly younger defense, and regression plus retirements will be hitting hard next year. Retirements include [6 players]...on paper the Copperheads would be great contenders going into next year if we just did last year but better, but the odds absolutely do not favor that happening," additionally noting the possible losses to the expansion teams. Egghands was one of Austin's protected players along with 5 other players on the defense and 2 receivers. The "mostly younger defense" also signed free agent safety Gregor McGregor early in the offseason to bolster a secondary losing both safeties to retirement, giving Austin some hope for 2040 (S25) despite the previous year's performance issues.

2040 (S25)

The 2040 (S25) season proved to be disappointing for Egghands and the Copperheads again as they repeated their 7-9 record and missing the playoffs. That was relatively better, though, as they finished 5th rather than 6th on tiebreakers over the Second Line. That was faint solace to Egghands, though, especially as the team faced a future of rebuilding after the loss of their defensive captain Carolinebbq Isbest to a tragic car accident and the likely retirement of long-time QB Easton Cole. Egghands performed nearly as well as the previous year, forcing and recovering one fewer fumble but almost doubling his sack total. He additionally made his second Pro Bowl which again didn't do much to help the sting of the losing season. Looking to 2041 (S26) and beyond, there was some speculation that the team could take advantage of Egghands' contract option to go with a cheaper alternative, but nothing materialized during the offseason. Egghands never responded publicly to these rumors, saying only, "My goal for the offseason is to prepare the best I can, get my training in, and then to be in the best position I can to help lead the defense next year" when asked about any contract updates.

2041 (S26)

2041 (S26) looked to be a surprising improvement for the Copperheads, as what ended up being Easton Cole's last season outperformed expectations and got the Copperheads to an ASFC-high 9-7 record. Unfortunately for Austin, that was along with 4 other teams in an unprecedented 5-way tie that resulted in the Copperheads finishing in 4th place and missing the playoffs for the third straight year. That was a big disappointment for a team which was in the driver's seat for most of the season but finished weakly with losses in weeks 15 and 16. Nor did Egghands help the team much - despite being voted as the defensive team captain, he had fewer tackles, tackles for loss, and sacks then either of the last two years. His 2 forced fumbles (one recovered) matched his 2039 total, but it was still clearly a step back from the breakout sack totals of 2040. Voters agreed, as Egghands failed to make the pro bowl after doing so the previous two years. In an interview after the season was over, Egghands revealed plans to slim down and work on his strength and conditioning in the offseason to try and regain his form. He also stressed the importance of not beating himself - "This year, while it was hardly my best, one thing that I am proud about is that I only had 2 penalties for 10 yards. Making mental errors and giving the other team free plays or better field position is never something we want to do, that we're coached not to do, and I feel like I had good success on that this year. I hope to continue to be a role model on the mental side of the game next year, especially if my fellow defensive players trust me enough to vote me for captain again."

2042 (S27)

Despite Cole's retirement and the debut of rookie QB Jackie Daytona heading into 2042 (S27), the Copperheads had high hopes that their excellent front 7, anchored by Egghands, would be a force to be reckoned with in the league and be enough to make up for a weaker secondary. That almost worked out, with the team being second in the league for yards allowed and actually were top in passing yards allowed as compared to fifth in rushing yards. However, a -6 turnover differential and a league-worst 42.8 yard average punt led to Austin being 12th in the league for points allowed. Daytona put on a good rookie year, averaging nearly 300 yards per game, but was much less of a rushing threat than Cole with 2 rushes as compared to Cole's 22 in 2041 (S26). Second-year player Zoe Watts also took a step back from an amazing rookie year with 200 fewer yards and 3 fewer TDs. Those combined to leave the team last in their conference and thirteenth in the league for points scored and the similarly poor 3-13 record. The team's poor start led to some trades clearly in preparation for the future making it obvious that the team would be trying to contend in 2043 (S28) rather than going all-out this year. On the defensive side, Egghands saw a reduced amount of outside end play with the team moving to a mix of 3-4 and 4-3 with Egghands playing in a linebacker position. He ended up with his second-lowest tackle total and lowest TFL count, but conversely had his first ISFL safety, career highs in forced and recovered fumbles, and his second-highest sack total. This was apparently enough to impress the Copperheads' leadership as they signed Egghands to a 4 year $20 million contract extension through 2046 (S31). However, it wasn't enough to earn any award nominations. With expected retirements/cuts in the offseason of Gregor Macgregor and Holden Summers, Egghands will be in the most experienced cadre of the team. That experience will be needed if the team is going to improve on their fairly dismal 2042 (S27) outcome.

2043 (S28)

After the rough 2042 (S27) season, the Copperheads started out the season on a tear, winning six of their first seven and eight of their first ten games. That unfortunately didn't keep up as they faded at the end of the season, but they managed to make the playoffs on tiebreakers over the Hahalua. Egghands, playing rotationally between the edge and nose tackle positions, saw an increase in tackles over the prior year. This came at the expense of fewer TFLs and sacks, however, and statistically finished up fairly close to his 2041 (S26) numbers. In the playoffs Egghands was unimpressive in the first two rounds but managed a personal high for playoff games with 7 tackles in the Ultimus against the Wraiths. With no other impact plays, the Copperheads again came up short against their nemesis from Yellowknife. The season was still an immense improvement from the 3-13 record of the prior year, but the aging Egghands can't have too many more years in the tank at this point. Austin does look to be keeping the majority of their team around for 2044 (S29), but in a competitive ASFC that's far from enough to make them the favorites for next year.

2044 (S29)

For whatever reason, the promise of the team headed into the season quickly fell apart as the Copperheads won their first game before losing eight of their next nine with only a tie to break up the string of losses. All but one of the losses were by one score, keeping fans hopeful for the team even as they were nearly mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. Week 11 finally showed a bit of the team's promise off as they walloped San Jose 62-27 as part of a 4-2 finish in the team's final 6 weeks of the season. While not directly the cause, Egghands' play certainly did not elevate the team's defense - with 4 tackles of loss, 5 sacks, and no fumbles, it was one of the DE's least impactful seasons in years and raised the question of if regression was going to remove any chance of impact for the team going forward. The defense more broadly struggled in gaming up points despite doing well at not giving up yards with their conference-best passing yards per game. Still, the writing seemed to be on the wall that Egghands could be on the way out to make way for a younger defense in 2046 (S31).

2045 (S30)

The Copperheads rebounded well after the rough previous year, showing huge improvements in points allowed and rush defense on their way to a 3rd-place 11-5 finish. Egghands also bounced back - two fewer TFLs were more than made up for by 2 fumbles and 4 more sacks then the previous year. Unfortunately, the team's run ended in a 47-24 loss to the Silverbacks in the first round of the playoffs, a game which fans described as "not actually as close as it looked" due to the Silverbacks' dominating the first half with the first six scores of the game. Egghands was similarly anemic with only single sack in the game, unfortunately continuing a trend of low impact in the playoffs. The team overall seemed to be well set up to continue playoff contention in 2046 (S31), though, with a reinvigorated defense combined with the effective offensive trio of QB Jackie Daytona, RB Zoe Watts, and WR Videl-San. The biggest concern looked to be the Arizona Outlaws, given their 14-2 finish and third consecutive first place finish in the conference - would Austin be able to contend with the powerhouse and achieve home field in the playoffs?

2046 (S31)

The previous year's concerns for Austin provied to be unfounded as the team went a league-best 12-4 by combining a top-3 offense and defense. Egghands had another solid year with 2 forced fumbles (both recovered) and 8 sacks. Still, a decrease in tackles and TFL showed a clear trend of slowing down. The Copperheads also slowed down in the playoffs, losing in the conference championships to the eventual Ultimus-winning Hahalua 30-27. Despite winning the turnover battle, the Copperheads were only 1/8 for third down conversions vs. Hahalua's 7/14. Egghands was again ineffective, managing two tackles. There was serious discussion between Egghands and the team about retirement in the offseason, but they eventually negotiated a 2-year $6 million contract through 2048 (S33). It was clear in conversations that Egghands expected that to be the last contract of a long career, saying about the contract "I've always been a Copperhead since I entered the league and I'm just trying to make sure I can keep helping them out in the way they need for as long as I'm here." Team fans and leadership both had high hopes for the team, hoping to repeat their conference win the next year.

2047 (S32)

Austin did nearly as well as the last year, though their 11-5 record was second to Arizona's 12-4. The team's offense was great again, finishing second in the league for points per game. The defense, however, fell to sixth overall, which many analysts blamed on the 284 passing yards allowed per game. The running defense pulled off a league-best 79.2 yards/game despite Egghands having clearly lost at least a step. 28 tackles, 2 TFL, 5 sacks, and 1 FF/FR was a clear sign that Egghands would be a liability more than a help in the future, though neither the team nor the player announced plans for a retirement or option exercise during the season. The Copperheads' second-place finish in the conference led to them hosting the Silverbacks in a thrilling overtime game. Unfortunately for Austin fans, New York pulled off the 30-27 win, featuring a dominant passing attack which more than doubled Austin's yardage. Austin's defense that had been so good against the rush gave up 180 yards at a 6.7/rush clip as they were unable to stop the eventual Ultimus winners. Egghands had a better-than-average playoff game with 3 tackles but continued the trend of no sacks/turnovers. After the conclusion of the playoffs, team conversations with Egghands confirmed the obvious that the team's plans for the future needed to focus on younger players and that they'd be releasing the long-time DE. Egghands instead announced retirement from the ISFL on December 19th with a short message, stating "Thanks Austin! Despite going 0-2 in Ultimus games while I was there, it's been fun."

ISFL career statistics

ISFL regular season Tackles Coverage Safeties Touchdowns Blocks
Season Team Games Tck TFL FF/FR Sck Int PD Sfty TD Blk P/XP/FG
2037 (S22) Austin Copperheads 13 31 10 0/0 5 0 0 0 0 0
2038 (S23) Austin Copperheads 16 44 15 0/0 6 0 0 0 0 0
2039 (S24) Austin Copperheads 16 58 15 2/1 6 0 0 0 0 0
2040 (S25) Austin Copperheads 16 54 13 1/0 11 0 0 0 0 0
2041 (S26) Austin Copperheads 16 50 9 2/1 5 0 0 0 0 0
2042 (S27) Austin Copperheads 16 37 8 3/2 10 0 0 1 0 0
2043 (S28) Austin Copperheads 16 50 2 2/1 4 0 0 0 0 0
2044 (S29) Austin Copperheads 16 58 4 0/0 5 0 0 1 0 0
2045 (S30) Austin Copperheads 16 53 2 2/1 9 0 0 0 0 0
2046 (S31) Austin Copperheads 16 44 0 2/2 8 0 0 0 0 0
2047 (S32) Austin Copperheads 16 28 2 1/1 5 0 0 0 0 0
Career 173 507 80 15/9 74 0 0 2 0 0
ISFL post-season Tackles Coverage Safeties Touchdowns Blocks
Season Team Games Tck TFL FF/FR Sck Int PD Sfty TD Blk P/XP/FG
2037 (S22) Austin Copperheads 2 5 1 0/0 1 0 0 0 0 0
2038 (S23) Austin Copperheads 3 5 3 0/0 0 0 0 0 0 0
2043 (S28) Austin Copperheads 3 12 0 0/0 0 0 0 0 0 0
2045 (S30) Austin Copperheads 1 1 0 0/0 0 0 0 0 0 0
2046 (S31) Austin Copperheads 2 3 0 0/0 1 0 0 0 0 0
2047 (S32) Austin Copperheads 1 3 0 0/0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Career 12 29 4 0/0 2 0 0 0 0 0

Achievements and records

DSFL

Troen won the 2036 (S21) Ultimini as a member of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers and was selected to the DSFL Pro Bowl in 2036 .

ISFL

Troen was selected to the ISFL Pro Bowl in 2039 and 2040 .