Squidward Tentacles
 Squidward Tentacles at Bikini Bottom University. | |
| No. 6 – Norfolk Seawolves | |
|---|---|
| Position: | Wide Receiver |
| Personal information | |
| Born: | October 6, 1999 (aged 61) Bikini Bottom, Marshall Islands |
| Height: | 5 ft 11 in (1.80 m) |
| Weight: | 195 lb (88 kg) |
| Username: | Terriblehippo |
| Career information | |
| High school: | Bikini Bottom School |
| College: | Bikini Bottom University |
| Career history | |
| Roster status: | Retired |
Squidward Q. Tentacles (born October 6, 1999) was an American football wide receiver. He played college football for Bikini Bottom University (BBU).
Contents
Early years
Squidward was born to Mr. and Mrs. Jeff Tentacles of Bikini Bottom. From an early age, he took a liking to the performing and visual arts. He learned to play the clarinet, and pursued painting as a hobby.
Squidward always wanted to leave Bikini Bottom; he reportedly told family and his few friends that he felt like ""a big squid in a small ocean"" on multiple occasions. As he grew older, it became clear that music and art would not give him the opportunity to leave his hometown, and so he began searching for another way. He discovered football, and realized that this was his shot at leaving his small hometown. He quit his job at The Krusty Krab -- a popular Bikini Bottom eating establishment -- to focus on his growing football career. Squidward has always been very public about the fact that football is not his passion, but merely a means to an end."
College career
Squidward's only opportunity to play organized football was through his hometown's local college, Bikini Bottom University. However, because the school was so small, and because there were no other colleges nearby to play, it didn't have a full-fledged football program. Instead, Squidward was forced to join the school's intramural flag football league. He tried every position, and eventually Squidward decided to play as a wide receiver. The reason for this is two-fold. First, with four legs, Squidward was much faster than anyone else in the school. He also has suction cups on his "hands," which allow him to catch and hold onto the football with extreme ease. Both of these factors quickly made Squidward the best football player in the school's history. His dominance quickly caught the eyes of DSFL scouts. Upon hearing of the existence of the DSFL and ISFL, Squidward immediately left Bikini Bottom University and announced his intention to play professionally in the ISFL.
College career statistics
| Career statistics | Receiving | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Season | Team | Games | Rec | Yards | Avg | Lg | TD |
| 2038 | Bikini Bottom University | 14 | 123 | 2,694 | 21.9 | 38 | 32 |
| 2039 | Bikini Bottom University | 14 | 101 | 1,919 | 19.0 | 36 | 30 |
| Total | Bikini Bottom University | 28 | 224 | 4,613 | 20.6 | 38 | 62 |
Professional career
DSFL career
Shortly after joining the DSFL in 2043 (S28), Squidward was picked up on waivers by the Norfolk Seawolves, who were 1-9 at the time of his signing. The Seawolves lost the next four games of the regular season, finishing with a DSFL-worst 1-12 record. Squidward made the most of his limited playing time with the Seawolves: in just four games played, he caught 13 passes and recorded 154 yards. The first catch of Squidward's professional football career was a 30-yard touchdown reception in the Seawolves' Week 11 matchup against the Minnesota Grey Ducks.
