Rando Cardrissian

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Rando Cardrissian
Image of Rando Cardrissian
The man about to ruin your game night
No. 38 – Retired
Position:Running Back
Personal information
Born: (2011-05-13)May 13, 2011 (aged 50)
Garland, Texas, U.S.
Height:6 ft 4 in (1.93 m)
Weight:244 lb (111 kg)
Career information
High school:South Garland High
College:Virginia Tech
ISFL Draft:2036  / Round: 4 / Pick: 32
DSFL Draft:2036  / Round: 7 / Pick: 38
Career history
Roster status:Retired
Career highlights and awards
Career ISFL statistics as of Week 16, 2038
Receptions:62
Receiving yards:647
Yards per reception:10.4
Receiving touchdowns:0
Rushing yards:2293
Rush average:4.0
Rushing touchdowns:13
Career DSFL statistics
Receptions:9
Receiving yards:62
Yards per reception:6.9
Receiving touchdowns:0
Rushing yards:1176
Rush average:4.9
Rushing touchdowns:14
Player stats at ISFL.net

Rando Cardrissian (born May 13, 2011) is an American football runningback for the San Jose Sabercats of the International Simulation Football League (ISFL).

Early years

Rando was born in Garland, Texas to Mischief and Chaos Cardrissian. From an early age, they could not tell what exactly Rando would grow up to be, and a personality was hard to pin down, even day to day. They spent a lot of their time bouncing from house to house in Garland, citing myriad reasons from gas leaks, mold, undesirable neighbors, and burglary incidents, before they finally settled on a place in the south side of town, where Rando would end up attending high school and playing for South Garland. Every time the family moved, they would throw a dart at a city map and move in where it landed, if available. He would be critical to getting them in the playoffs his junior and senior years and advancing them to the 2029 Texas HS Championships his senior year. Unfortunately, they would not nab that coveted state title. When choosing a college, he went with the family's normal method and threw a dart at a map, landing on Virginia Tech in Blacksburg.

College career

Rando served his true freshman season with a redshirt, and what a time to do so, as an ankle injury in practice left him sidelined for weeks during the season. He would wait until his redshirt sophomore season to get action on the field and provided a boost to the offense almost straight away, rushing for 156 yards and 2 touchdowns against Duke. He would help push Virginia Tech to a 9-4 season in 2032, then to 11-2 in 2033 with an ACC title game loss, then to 13-1 in 2034, finally getting the Hokies to the CFP. They would unfortunately fall in the semifinal to Stanford. He was in some talks of awards, though there were just more massive efforts from other offensive players around the country, and a crowded RB field he didn't seem to distinguish himself in. Finally out of eligibility, Cardrissian bounced working odd jobs before taking a chance to play football again, enlisting in the DSFL.

College career statistics

College Career Rushing
Season Team GP Att Yds Avg Yds/G Long TD
2031 (S16) VT 10 150 1020 6.8 102.0 56 8
2032 (S17) VT 13 312 1622 5.2 124.8 43 16
2033 (S18) VT 14 397 1800 4.5 128.6 37 16

Professional career

DSFL career

Rando was drafted 38th overall in the DSFL Draft by the Kansas City Coyotes, one of several RBs taken on the night. Unlike in college, however, he would separate himself from the field in a hurry, racking up 103 yards and 2 touchdowns on 18 carries in his first professional football game, a narrow 24-23 loss to the Portland Pythons, earning offensive player of the game honors. He would do so again in Week 3, a 24-12 win over the Minnesota Gray Ducks, making much of 18 carries with 96 yards and 3 touchdowns. He would score at least one touchdown in each of his first five games, putting him in early awards talks despite sharing carries with teammate Andrew Nova. He would go on to finish the season with 1,176 yards on 241 carries (4.9 average) and a league-leading 14 touchdowns. He would score the only touchdown in a 36-7 loss to the Gray Ducks, also with 74 yards on 14 carries. He would wrap up his one-season DSFL career by earning Offensive Rookie of the Year honors.

ISFL career

Pre-draft measurables
Ht Wt 40‑yd dash 20‑ss 3‑cone Vert jump Broad BP Wonderlic
6 ft 4 in
(1.93 m) 		244 lb
(111 kg) 		4.39 s 4.22 s 7.37 s 31.2 in
(0.79 m) 		10 ft 0.6 in
(3.06 m) 		40 reps 17

Rando was drafted 32nd overall by the San Jose SaberCats. Despite being one of the standout RBs in his draft class, RBs were not a heavily needed commodity, and so, even rival draftees like Baby Yoda fell into later rounds. Starting his career as RB2 behind Quindarius Tyerucker, he put in a modest rookie season, earning 784 yards from scrimmage and punching in two touchdowns. It was a much more jarring season, though not one unlike his early college years, once again falling in behind a veteran. He struggled to gain many yards in the opening few weeks, though finally broke the 50-yard mark in Week 3 and scored his first touchdown in a win against the Yellowknife Wraiths. He would gain a season-high 78 yards in a 27-10 win against the Chicago Butchers. He would even snag a catch here and there for big gains with the defense not expecting the power back to have a lane, finishing the season with 13 receptions and averaging north of 10 per catch. Though Cardrissian didn't have the impactful rookie season he had hoped for or one that somewhat resembled his DSFL season, he didn't seem to mind improving and biding his time. In a brief postgame following the end of the regular season, Cardrissian shrugged off comments and assertions his DSFL breakout would only be that. "Nah, folks. It's true the competition is tougher here and San Jose doesn't quite have the crack squad we would like every season. Same answer I've got for you I've got for comments about the club - give us time to build. Give me time to build. We're figuring this out together." Personally, Cardrissian would spend the offseason improving and biding his time to gun for his first step to ISFL stardom - RB1. He was up for a surprise nomination for Offensive Rookie of the Year, though he did not win the award.

Rando's second season would see him break out into more of a RB1 role. He received more touches, and consequently, gained more yards than his rookie season, improving his average per play slightly. Cardrissian had his first true breakout game in Week 2 against the Arizona Outlaws, where he rushed for 148 yards on 25 carries and 3 touchdowns en route to a 33-28 win. His mark was 15 yards short of the club record of 163 set by Jerrod Canton in 2027. His 220 touches for 936 yards led the team in rushing and was 9th-best in the league. He tied for fourth in TDs, only two behind the league leader Acura Skyline. That rushing performance would be the single-best of the season, however. He would not break 100 yards in a game for the remainder of the year. He felt as though he was starting to make a bigger impact on the team, and with other ascendant young players alongside him, the SaberCats made a surprising run at the postseason. It was not to be, however, as in the final week of the season, everything played out to San Jose's detriment, and they were left holding the fourth spot in a three-team playoff. Cardrissian expressed bitter disappointment the season went so well, and yet, ended with San Jose once again on the outside looking in. "I've never felt so sick in my stomach in my entire life. To know we went into Week 13 with what we felt was a great chance to make it. We had to take care of business or Honolulu did. Neither happened. Makes us think to all those stupid little mistakes we made that added up to losses earlier on. It's sour in my stomach all the more when another 8-5 team won it all. Could have been us."

Rando's third season was marked with the introduction of a new partner in the backfield, the rookie phenom Jamar Lackson. While resentful of the up-and-comer upstaging him at first and plotting his options during a contract year, he and the team would eventually work out a more suitable role that, while it still put him in a committee with Lackson, separated the two where Cardrissian would be a fullback while Lackson would be the full-time halfback. The changes in position and scheme opened Cardrissian up to options as another eligible receiver more often while Lackson took on more rushes. His decrease in rushing yards was more than offset by the massive uptick in receiving yards, pulling in 1,137 all-purpose yards over the extended 16-game schedule, new in 2038 (S23). This balance was on full display in San Jose's Week 14 matchup against the Honolulu Hahalua, where he rushed 19 times for 86 yards and a touchdown, plus caught 5 passes for 77 yards for a total of 163 all-purpose yards, enough for his first career Offensive Player of the Game nod. In that same game, all of Honolulu's offense gained 163 yards. The team struggled as a whole to a 5-11 record and the second pick in the 2039 ISFL Draft. After the final game of the season, a 20-13 loss to the Austin Copperheads, Cardrissian said to the media "Part of it's hangover from last season's near-miss. Part of it is having to do this with almost entirely young, new guys and a retooled system. The wheel turned, and we're back on the downswing. The time is coming, though. The wheel will bring us back to the top, and when it does, we'll be there to stay for quite some time."

In his fourth season, the partnership in the backfield between Cardrissian and Lackson became a force for the SaberCats' offense. With both being flexible to participate in the passing game as well as pound along the ground, they helped press the offense along as far as they could. Cardrissian would improve from the season before, increasing his yardage output, per-rush, and per-game averages. He wouldn't be as major in the passing game as he was before from the fullback position, though he notched his first two career receiving touchdowns out of the backfield. He was part of the team's rollercoaster season through a daunting, hotly-contested ASFC alongside the Otters, Second Line and Outlaws. He would provide the winning score in a Week 12 against the Austin Copperheads with a little over 4 minutes to go. He was named Offensive Player of the Game in a pivotal 21-13 victory in Week 15 against the Outlaws, leading the team in that game with 85 yards and the rushing score that would push the SaberCats to a 21-10 lead in a game which ended 21-13. With 5 catches for 21 yards, he notched 100 yards from scrimmage in a win that put the Cats in a win-and-in tilt against the Second Line. With a win against NOLA the following week, Cardrissian would experience postseason football in San Jose for the first time in his career. With a touchdown thrown in amid a handful of rushes and receptions, Cardrissian had a respectable playoff debut in a 17-3 win over the rival Otters to advance to the SaberCats' third Ultimus. He would have respectable rushing numbers in the championship bout against the Colorado Yeti and notched a 1-yard touchdown reception. The defense held down the stretch, and at the end of a miraculous season, Cardrissian was counted among the newest ISFL champions, grabbing a ring in his fourth season. He was left unprotected during the Expansion Draft, and this was made known to him from the team prior to the protection list deadline. After the draft came and went, however, the New York Silverbacks and Berlin Fire Salamanders passed on him, leaving Cardrissian in the San Jose backfield committee for the foreseeable future. "How different things looked at this time a year ago," Cardrissian said in a postgame press conference following San Jose's coronation. "We had the most rotten luck two seasons ago, ousted at 8-5. Now, not only tie-broken into the postseason, but into the 1 seed, and proving we are the best in the ASFC, then proving we're the best in the ISFL. We weren't the best at everything. We weren't even a top-half offense. But we did what we needed to do when we needed to do it. And we're only gonna get better to do it all again next season."

In his fifth season, the SaberCats did it all again. Cardrissian and Lackson once again paired well. Cardrissian finished in the top 10 in league rushing yards in 2040 (S25) and 9th in yards per carry among rushers with at least 200 carries. He featured in a key showdown against the Austin Copperheads in Week 15, rushing 20 times for 81 yards and 2 touchdowns in a 27-25 league which sealed the Cats' postseason berth. He also accrued more than 100 all-purpose yards in Week 7 against the Colorado Yeti, rushing for 61 yards and catching for 75 and a touchdown in a 27-24 loss. He also broke 100 yards against the Liberty in Week 14 (65 rushing, 39 receiving, 104 total) in a 24-21 victory and in Week 16 against the New York Silverbacks (70 rushing, 47 receiving, 117 total) in a 27-13 loss that unnerved supporters at the time. The loss placed San Jose in the 3rd seed in the ASFC, pitting them against the Arizona Outlaws on the road. Cardrissian once again broke 100 yards (69 rushing, 39 receiving), including securing a key 32-yard reception on 4th and 5 during the last drive of regulation. That drive ended in a game-tying field goal to send the contest into overtime, which the Cats would win. Cardrissian would rush for 79 yards in the ASFC Championship Game against the Orange County Otters, including three rushes for 23 yards which set up a touchdown pass to Deondre Thomas-Fox which would put the game two possessions out of reach, 23-14. For the second time in franchise history, the SaberCats were back-to-back ASFC Champions. In the Ultimus XXV rematch against the Colorado Yeti, he rushed for 77 yards and the SaberCats' last touchdown in an all-around reconquest more convincing than the tense title match the season before. By a 34-17 count, the SaberCats won the rematch, avenged their earlier season loss, and for the first time in franchise history, won consecutive ISFL championships. Following the season, Cardrissian was jubilant. "I told you we're only gonna get better to do it all again next season. And we still got plenty to run it back again and lock up a three-peat." 2040 (S25) was Cardrissian's best to-date, rushing for 953 yards and 7 touchdowns, plus receiving for 442 yards and 1 touchdown during the regular season and topped off with his second Ultimus ring.

Professional career statistics

DSFL Regular Season Rushing Receiving Blocking
Season Team GP Att Yds Avg Yds/G Long TD Rec Yds Long TD Pancakes Sacks Allowed
2035 (S20) Coyotes 14 241 1176 4.9 84 43 14 9 62 10 0 10 3
Career Coyotes 14 241 1176 4.9 84 43 14 9 62 10 0 10 3
DSFL Postseason Rushing
Season Team GP Att Yds Avg Yds/G Long TD
2035 (S20) Coyotes 1 14 74 5.3 74 14 1
Career Coyotes 1 14 74 5.3 74 14 1
ISFL Regular Season Rushing Receiving Blocking
Season Team GP Att Yds Avg Yds/G Long TD Rec Yds Long TD Pancakes Sacks Allowed
2036 (S21) Sabercats 13 156 648 4.2 46.7 16 2 13 136 29 0 12 2
2037 (S22) Sabercats 13 220 936 4.3 72.0 22 7 10 83 20 0 18 1
2038 (S23) Sabercats 16 202 709 3.5 44.3 14 4 39 428 37 0 8 1
2039 (S24) Sabercats 16 241 872 3.6 54.5 18 6 23 148 18 2 22 3
2040 (S25) Sabercats 16 233 953 4.3 59.6 13 7 44 442 45 1 22 3
2041 (S26) Sabercats 16 213 793 3.7 49.6 19 7 54 522 40 4 18 1
Career Sabercats 90 1265 4911 3.9 54.6 22 26 183 1759 45 7 78 8
ISFL Postseason Rushing Receiving Blocking
Season Team GP Att Yds Avg Yds/G Long TD Rec Yds Long TD Pancakes Sacks Allowed
2039 (S24) Sabercats 2 28 103 3.7 51.5 8 1 4 16 8 1 3 0
2040 (S25) Sabercats 3 56 225 4.0 75.0 15 1 3 39 32 0 2 0
Career Sabercats 5 84 328 3.9 65.6 15 2 4 55 32 1 5 0

Achievements and Records

Awards

Team
Individual
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