Mattress Cadaire

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Mattress Cadaire
Image of Mattress Cadaire
No. 55 – London Royals
Position:Defensive End
Personal information
Born: (2014-01-06)January 6, 2014 (aged 47)
Los Angeles, California, U.S.
Height:6 ft 8 in (2.03 m)
Weight:300 lb (136 kg)
Username:MattressCadaire
Career information
High school:Fairfax High School
College:University of California Los Angeles
Career history
Roster status:Active
Career DSFL statistics
Total tackles:104
Tackles for loss:26
Interceptions:0
Forced fumbles:1
Sacks:15
Defensive touchdowns:0

Player stats at ISFL.net

Mattress Cadaire (born January 6, 2014) is an American football defensive end for the London Royals of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

Mattress Cadaire was born in Yosemite National Park on June 1st, 2014. His parents wanted the birth of their child to be a beautiful spectacle and planned this ahead of time. He grew up in the Fairfax area of Los Angeles and was a tennis star at Fairfax High School. He did not begin playing football until his senior year, after a devestating tennis elbow injury derailed his potential career in swinging a racket. Mattress was able to learn to play linebacker even with his elbow injury. He called it "a blessing in disguise" because it forced him to focus more on speed and technique instead of just brute strength. He specialized as a pass rusher and questions arose if his game would be able to translate well to the college level since he was mediocre in coverage and in stopping the run game. Mattress heard these criticisms and made it a point of emphasis to focus on in the summer after graduating. A UCLA recruiter noticed his work ethic and recruited him to the school that year.

College career

Mattress did not get much playing time his first two seasons in college ball since the starting linebackers on the team were some of the best in college football at the time. He took advantage of this and studied everything they did so he can mimic their success. This investment paid dividends and translated to on field success as he lead the team in sacks and tackles for loss his Junior and Senior year. His lingering tennis elbow injury scared off many DSFL scouts and he went undrafted in the S23 Draft. Although his injury did not impede him in college, teams were still scared to take a chance on a player who played a position where the importance of healthy elbows is valued. With low spirits, Mattress moved to New York to get a job on Wall Street.

Professional career

DSFL career

2038 Season Mattress accepted a job on Wall Street as a Financial Analyst in derivatives trading for equities and commodities. His speciality was trading bullish put option credit spreads. His career was cut short from a string of unlucky trades in the soybean market and was promptly fired. It was after this event that he decided to try and walk onto a DSFL team. A few weeks later, the GM of the London Royals extended an offer to pick Mattress up off the waiver wire during the Preseason of 2037. Mattress accepted the offer and immediately began contributing to the team. He was not only a dynamic player, but was also regarded by the league as a talented journalist after he released his hit article "'Royals' by Lorde is actually about the London Royals". This wit and intelligence that was discovered from his writings, plus his on field performance raised his draft stock as the season wore on.

2039 Season Mattress came back to London for a second season – unsatisfied with the result of the postseason in 2038. He went on the record saying “The Royals management team is the best in the business and I am certain they will do everything they can to put us in position to bring an Ultimini back to London.” He then proceeded to play a much improved season, recording more tackles, tackles for loss, sacks, and forced fumbles than the previous year. London went into the playoffs with a lot of momentum with one of the best defenses in the league. Mattress had a quiet first playoff game against the Pythons, recording only 2 tackles – 1 for a loss. However, it was not needed much as the Royal defeated their opposition handily 22-3. He turned it up a notch for the championship game, recording a sack for an 11 yard loss on one of the first plays of the game. His biggest contribution came in the final minutes of the 4th quarter when the game was tied at 17-17. Mattress forced a fumble on the Seawolves own goal line to put the Royals in prime position to score the go ahead touchdown to make it a 24-17 game. His prediction that management would do a great job came true and he is now an Ultimini Champion. Several days later, Mattress would go on to win DSFL Defensive End of the Year. It was a season full of success, and he stated he will be a Royal once again to try and bring back a second Ultimini trophy back to London.

Pre-draft measurables
Ht Wt 40‑yd dash 20‑ss 3‑cone Vert jump Broad
6 ft 4 in
(1.93 m)
242 lb
(110 kg)
Career statistics Defense
Season Team Games Tck TFL FF/FR Sck Int PD Sfty TD Blk P/XP/FG
2038 (S23) Royals 14 46 12 0/0 6 0 0 0 0 0/0/0
2039 (S24) Royals 14 58 14 0/1 9 0 0 0 0 0/0/0

Achievements and records

Team
Individual

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