John Smirh

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John "Tripod" Smirh
John Smirh.jpeg
No. 9 – Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
Position:Kicker
Personal information
Born: (2017-09-06)September 6, 2017 (aged 43)
Chicago, Illinois, U.S.
Height:6 ft 5 in (1.96 m)
Weight:230 lb (104 kg)
Career information
High school:Homeschooled
College:Tulane
ISFL Draft:2036 / Round: 4 / Pick: 31
DSFL Draft:2035  / Round: 12 / Pick: 70
Career history
Roster status:Active

John "Tripod" Smirh (born September 6, 2017) is an American football kicker for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL). He played college football for Tulane (TU) before being drafted by the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers in the 2035 DSFL Draft (S20).

Early years

John "Tripod" Smirh was born of a Small Family in Chicago Illinois. He grew up on the West Side of the City, with his Mother, Father and 4 Siblings. John's brothers were all quite intelligent people, and John's parents did not trust the Public School System in Chicago, so John was homeschooled. John was an absolute unit when he was growing up, always towering over his family and other people he would meet out in the world. John never really played any organized sports, since he was homeschooled, but he was a huge gym rat with his Siblings. John was video recorded by his brothers leg pressing 900lbs when only 16 Years Old and became somewhat of an internet sensation. As John continued to age, he continued to grow, and at 18 years old as he started to apply for colleges, he stood 6'5 and 230 lbs. John applied for a scholarship to attend Tulane, since that is where both of his parents went. When he arrived to Tulane, some football players noticed him and this is how the story unfolds.

College career

John went to Tulane and was immediately approached by the Coach there to potentially walk on for their football team. John's First Practice was, well, what you expect from someone who has never played organized sports. It was a complete disaster. He wasn't the fastest guy out there, as evident by watching the first five minutes. He wasn't the strongest either. But man, you know what John had that other kids didn't? He had those legs man. Coach gave him one look, and looked at those hamstrings, calves, thighs, and thought "Man. This Kid can probably kick." John took a snap, and his first Punt sailed 60 yards. It was not accurate at all, but Jesus could he kick the damn ball. Coach decided to redshirt John his freshman year, and continued to work technique with him throughout the year to try and get him ready for his Sophmore season. After the end of John's Freshman season, he got a call from some family friends about a Draft coming up for the "DSFL" and John decided to throw his name in last minute.

Professional career

DSFL career

John "Tripod" Smirh was welcomed quickly in the Myrtle Beach Locker Room. Even though there were rumors that the General Managers of Myrtle Beach already were trying attempting to trade John Smirh to another team. Those rumors, true or not, have had some impact thus far on John's Training, since he is still new to this whole football fiasco. Hopefully John can show to the management team here in Myrtle Beach that he belongs here, and that he can stay on a team for more then a few days. John has not played a minute played yet, but he is working vigorously to get his mind and body right for the first week of the Regular Season. His coaching staff and managers have already taken him to the side and explained some things that he has needed to work on, and have worked very closely with John to make sure that everything he is doing is on the right track with the rest of the team. Myrtle Beach is looking to Contend, and they think this season is theirs.

Season 21 and Offseason

After being Drafted by Myrtle Beach, he was accepted into the team’s family in a heartbeat. He became an instant starter for Myrtle Beach and was ready from the get-go to work his ass off. He was one of the first ones in the training facility every day, and one of the last ones out. His stats didn’t really jump out of how he wanted to be, missing Five Field Goals over the course of 14 games. He also missed an extra point. John Smirh was highly disappointed in himself. John was able to assist the Myrtle Beach in going to the Ultimini, where they would ultimately fall to the Minnesota Grey Ducks 28-3.

DSFL Career Statistics

DSFL career statistics

Career statistics Kicking Punting
Season Team Games FGA FGM FG% XPA XPM XP% Punts Punts(Long) Punts (Inside 20) Punts (AVG)
2030 (S15) MBB 14 29 24 82.8% 31 30 96.8% 92 72 17 44.5 yd
Total 14 29 24 82.8% 31 3- 96.8% 02 72 17 44.5 yd


After all the turmoil that John Smirh faced throughout his first season of the DSFL, he entered the NSFL Draft. His name was finally called with the 31st pick of the 4th Round in the Season 21 Draft by the Colorado Yeti. John was welcomed with open arms right away in the Colorado Yeti Locker Room, as the General Managers flew him out to Colorado the next morning. Upon arrival to the Stadium and meeting with the General Managers, Smirh is looking to increase his weight substantially as a change this off-season will be happening for Smirh. Since he is so new to football, he is going to be able to hopefully adapt to whatever position his coaches think that he will excel best at, and right now, that is the weight gain. John Smirh was informed that he will be called up by the Colorado Yeti and play this next season in the big leagues.

Professional career statistics

Come back to this later

Achievements and records

Come back to this later