Hehateme Picksix

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Hehateme Picksix
Image of Hehateme Picksix
The Best Cornerback Ever
No. 0 – San Jose Sabercats
Position:Cornerback
Personal information
Born: (2017-06-08)June 8, 2017 (aged 43)
Vancouver, Canada
Height:6 ft 3 in (1.91 m)
Weight:195 lb (88 kg)
Career information
High school:Football Prep
College:Greendale Community College
ISFL Draft:2036  / Round: 1 / Pick: 4
DSFL Draft:2035  / Round: 3 / Pick: 5
Career history
Roster status:Active

HeHateMe PickSix (born June 8, 2017) is an American football cornerback for the Portland Pythons of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL). He played college football for Greendale Community College before being drafted by the Portland Pythons in the 2035 DSFL Draft (S20).

Early years

Hehateme Picksix was born literally on the opponent's endzone when his mom gave birth after scoring a TD herself. His childhood was quickly replaced by machines and tubes to ensure he was genetically perfect to play football at a high level. As a result of this grusome training, his personal skills are lacking but he quickly set records in PeeWee football including forcing the opposing QB to refuse to pass for an entire game for fear of throwing numerous INTs to Hehateme. As an 8 year old playing against 13 and 14 year olds, Hehateme was subject to taunts and ridicule growing up. However, those jeers were quickly shut down when Hehateme would blow past his opposition on his way to the opponent's endzone to score 6 points for his team. His trademark taunt quickly became one where he simply used both thumbs and pointed to the name on the jersey. "Picksix"

College career

Hehateme quickly gained fame and was a 5 star recruit to Ohio State. However, upon learning that Ohio State would not be compensating him, he elected to play for his community college, Greendale instead. An immediate impact was felt as his blazing speed and velvet hands quickly guided the Human Beings to a 14-2 record in his only year there before delcaring for the DSFL draft. It has been rumored that the moment he declared for the draft QB enrolements and recruits at all levels of college football blossomed by over 300% knowing they would never have to face this phenom on the defensive side of the ball. He ended his college career with 32 INTs, 29 of them returned for a TD in 16 games. Super agent Scott Boras quickly took Hehateme on as his newest client and we world can only watch to see where his career goes from here.

College career statistics

Career statistics Tackles Sacks Interceptions Other
Season Team Games Reg TFL Total Sack Int IntTD DefTD FFum FRec PD Safety
2034 (S19) ISFL 16 36 0 36 0 41 35 35 3 0 7 0

Professional career

HeHateMe's professional career started a little rocky as over his first 6 games with his new team, The Portland Pythons, he only had 3 PD's to his name. The team started the year 1-5 and there was rumblings in the locker room that PickSix was not happy about his usage, or the chemistry the team had put together. When the GMs were let go following their 5th loss, that was the last straw and PickSix demanded a trade out of Portland. He was subsequently dealt to the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers for Marnette and a 4th round pick in next year's draft. PickSix originally had concerns about going to the Bucs, as he had publicly feuded with their star safety Jeffrey Lavert only a few months ago. However, GM Kacey Dream was able to smooth things over between the two highly competitive defensive backs and PickSix joined an incredible defense known as the No Fly Zone in Myrtle Beach.

This trade paid off immediately for PickSix as well as the Bucs as over the next 8 games, PickSix racked up 5 interceptions to go with another 16 PDs for an extremely impressive season. He would add a blocked punt for good measure and was finally able to show NSFL scouts what he was made of if utilized properly. PickSix finished the year tied for 2nd in total interceptions and 2nd for PDs in a season. His 19 PDs would also be the 7th highest all time in a season in the DSFL. For his efforts, he was nominated for Defensive Back of the Year at the end of season awards, however he did not secure the win for the award.

During the NSFL Draft, HeHateMe PickSix was selected in the 1st round, 4th Overall, by the San Jose Sabercats

Season 21

San Jose signed their star cornerback to a 3 year 15 million dollar deal fresh off of picking him 4th overall and HeHateMe PickSix started all 13 games at Cornerback for the team. While his numbers did not quite pop off his stat page against higher competition, he nonetheless had a stellar rookie season with 1 INT and 16 PDs.

His 1 interception tied him for 2nd place among rookies however, and his 16 PDs led all rookies in that category for the season. He also finished with 28 tackles on the year and was generally effective in shutting down opposing wide receivers during this year.

There were early rumors that HeHateMe PickSix wanted out of a losing situation in San Jose much like he did in Portland, but HeHateMe publicly announced that this was not the case and he was sticking with the Cats for the foreseeable feature as he didn't want to known as a team jumper and only playing for teams ready to compete, perhaps showing a little bit of growth and maturity for the first time in his career.

Unfortunately, the San Jose Sabrecats missed the playoffs and for the first time in his professional career, HeHateMe did not advance to the post season.

With the expansion draft looming, PickSix was protected by the Cats from selection as well. In addition, as a reward for his strong rookie play, PickSix was named to the NSFL ProBowl for the first time in his career, making him a ProBowl recipient in both leagues during his rookie seasons in both.

Season 22

PickSix's 2nd year in the league started off fine with an early INT with the first few weeks. However the 'Sophmore Slump' seemed to hit the star CB and sensing that he could help his team win more games by switching over to Safety, thus giving Harris and Sweets time to shine at his old position, he took it upon himself to make the switch for the season. The results were immediate as the Cats went 9-4 narrowly missing the playoffs in PickSix's 2nd year in the league. PickSix also developed a strong return game, being the only player in the league to return 2 Kickoffs for more than 70 yards in the year.

Training hard in the off-season PickSix was determined to get back to his starting role at Cornerback to lead the Sabercats Defense to greater and and better things in the future years. PickSix also picked up his first 2 career sacks this season, to go along with another INT and increased his total tackles by over 20.

Bidding farewell to teammates Ennis, Staley, and Wright due to retirement and Jackson due to Free Agency, PickSix has vowed to stay in San Jose for the foreseeable future ending many teams hopes of picking up this generational CB during free agency next year. Contract negotiations for his next deal are currently on-going. However, there seems to be a high probability of a Poison Pill clause known as the "Zamir Kelah" clause.

PickSix silenced all doubters with a new 3 year 18 million extension to remain with San Jose with the aforementioned Zamir Kelah clause.


Pre-draft measurables
Ht Wt 40‑yd dash 20‑ss 3‑cone Vert jump Broad BP Wonderlic
6 ft 3 in
(1.91 m)
195 lb
(88 kg)
4.36 s 4.17 s 7.11 s 27.3 in
(0.69 m)
4 ft 2 in
(1.27 m)
6 reps 39

Professional career statistics

Career statistics Tackles Sacks Interceptions Other Kick Returns
Season Team Games Reg TFL Total Sack Int IntTD DefTD FFum FRec PD Safety KR KR Yds KR Avg KR Lg KR TD
2035 (S20) Buccaneers 14 35 0 35 0 5 0 0 0 0 19 0 0 0 0 0 0
2036 (S21) Sabercats 13 28 0 28 0 1 0 0 0 0 16 0 0 0 0 0 0
2037 (S22) Sabercats 13 57 0 57 2 1 0 0 1 1 9 0 29 804 27.7 73 0

2035 Playoffs

Career statistics Tackles Sacks Interceptions Other
Season Team Games Reg TFL Total Sack Int IntTD DefTD FFum FRec PD Safety
2035 (S20) Buccaneers 2 9 0 9 0 0 0 0 2 0 3 0

Achievements and records