Bambam McMullet

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Bambam Mcmullet
Image of BamBam McMullet
BamBam McMullet showing what real hair looks like
No. 55 – Tijuana Luchadores
Position:Linebacker
Personal information
Born: (2018-10-31)October 31, 2018 (aged 42)
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, U.S.
Height:6 ft 5 in (1.96 m)
Weight:255 lb (116 kg)
Username:Manicmav36
Career information
High school:MacArthur High School
College:University of Oklahoma
DSFL Draft:2040  / Round: 1 / Pick: 8
Career history
Roster status:Active

BamBam McMullet (born October 31, 2018) is an American football linebacker for the Tijuana Luchadores of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

BamBam McMullet was never a smart child. In fact, some would say he was actually a very dumb child… and they would be correct. Luckily for BamBam, he was born with three other amazing gifts. He was always the biggest kid in his class, was incredibly athletic, and had a keen eye for fantastic hair styles. All three were apparent from birth. When BamBam was born he tipped the scales at just a shade under twenty-one pounds, had what appeared to be “Hi mom” shaved into the left side of his hair, and is still to this day, the only baby born sporting a six pack.

Due to his immense size and advanced athleticism, McMullet always excelled in athletics, specifically football (“Tackle the guy with the ball”) and wrestling (“Pin the other guy.”) Neither are very complicated at a young age, and as such, his pure athleticism massively outweighed his utter lack of intelligence. However, it turns out that McMullet was a far better student of the game of football than he ever was an actual student. He took to the game immediately and developed a keen football mind. McMullet is, to this day, the only student in MacArthur High history to start on both offense and defense, on the varsity football team, as a freshman.

College career

While his athletic ability all but guaranteed him a scholarship somewhere but, his general lack of intelligence (outside the game of football) was always a concern. Would he be able to cut it academically at the collegiate level? Which is why McMullet decided to attend the University of Oklahoma. The University of Oklahoma is well known for their ability to make athletes with below average intelligence into students with straight A’s and B’s. How, you ask? Let’s just say they have some fantastic tutors with very flexible morals.

As a freshman, McMullet didn’t even sniff the field. Both his athleticism and football intelligence were leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of his position group but, McMullet had a problem. He was just too damn cocky. It rubbed his coach the wrong way, and he sat him to both develop his skills, and to hopefully teach the young man some humility. Unfortunately, he was regularly shown on the sidelines during national broadcasts and developed quite a cult following. He was even named to the ESPN All-Hair Team.

Sophomore year started strong with McMullet showing his true potential during the team’s Red and White scrimmage, where he finished with 11 tackles, 2 sacks, and an interception. Unfortunately, McMullet was suspended for the season due to “a violation of team rules.” Many speculate it had something to do with a coach’s wife.

Luckily for McMullet, he was given one final chance for his junior season, and it paid off in dividends for everyone. McMullet quickly established himself as THE premier linebacker at the collegiate level. Not only did he fished third overall in the FCS for tackles, but he also lead the FCS in sacks, and recorded more tackles for loss in a single season than any linebacker in the history of the collegiate football. Despite repeated pleas from the coaching stuff (well, except for one) McMullet knew he needed to get to the professional level immediately, and declared himself for the DSFL draft.

College career statistics

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Professional career

Pre-draft measurables
Ht Wt 40‑yd dash 20‑ss 3‑cone Vert jump Broad
6 ft 5 in
(1.96 m)
255 lb
(116 kg)

Professional career statistics

Use this page to get the stats table template.

Achievements and records

Use this section as an example."