Mister Hogmally

Mister Hogmolly

No. 43 – Prospect
Position:	Tight End
Personal information
Born:	(1723-02-26)February 26, 1723 (aged 339) Old McDonald's Farm, Nebraska, U.S.
Height:	6 ft 4 in (1.93 m)
Weight:	250 lb (113 kg)
Username:	Istegosauruz
Career information
College:	University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Career history
Roster status:	Active

Mister Hogmolly (born February 26, 3623) is an American football tight end who is currently preparing to enter the professional ranks.He played college football for University of Nebraska-Lincoln and has declared his intent to enter the professional ranks next season.

Early years

Mister Hogmolly's beginnings are like any pigs that ends up growing up to wear a tux, a monocle, and play in a professional football league. He was born on a farm that only exists in a children's rhyme. He was not content growing up to be slaughtered and made into bacon, however, but rather wanted to be a financial advisor. He was a whiz with numbers and knew he could make it big on Wall Street. Unfortunately, shortly after his internship with Goldman Sachs in 2007, the housing market crashed and investing was no longer a "cool" or "stable" job for a young pig with a dream. Mister Hogmolly set out on a journey of self-discovery to find his next true calling. After his career on Wall Street fell through the cracks, Mister Hogmolly took the remaining money in his bank account and booked a plane ticket to Australia.

Mister Hogmolly's Journey of Self-Discovery

After his career on Wall Street fell through the cracks, Mister Hogmolly took the remaining money in his bank account and booked a plane ticket to Australia. Mister Hogmolly spent the next three years traveling the Australian outback. While he was in the outback, he met an old wise Shaman. The Shaman encouraged Mister Hogmolly to branch out and try new things, which is how he ended up in cooking school in Paris. Unfortunately, Mister Hogmolly's dream was foiled again. He was never destined to be a fancy chef - he never could find the rat that was supposed to teach him how to cook like Disney had led him to believe he would - and after being chased out of the kitchen by his teacher with a cleaver with the threat that if he returned he would be made into barbecue, Mister Hogmolly set back out on his journey to find his true calling. From Paris he traveled to Japan where he wanted to train to become a ninja, only to arrive in Japan and find that being a profesional ninja wasn't a truly viable career path. He pondered on whether he could use the training to audition for American Ninja Warrior but realized that no one wanted to watch a pig do parkour.

Discovering football

With his dream of being a ninja dead, Mister Hogmolly returned to Nebraska, depressed and unfulfilled. He worked as a dishwasher at a Waffle House for a while, a truly terrifying lifestyle that pushed him to the verge of madness due to the amount of bacon and ham that are prepared and consumed on a daily basis at a Waffle House. The night shift fry cook Larry became good friends with Mister Hogmolly and noticed that he was built like a dump truck. He invited Mr. Hogmolly to help him coach a high school football team. There, deep in the farmlands of Nebraska, Mister Hogmolly discovered football. It was love at first sight, Mister Hogmolly couldn't get enough. There was strategy and practice was required - just like there is in cooking - and it contained a physical element - just like being a ninja would have. Larry assured Mister Hogmolly that professional football players were handsomely compensated, just as he would have been as a financial advisor on Wall Street.

Mister Hogmolly began training, he finally had a dream he felt was close. The International Simulation Football League awaited, a league he was going to take by storm. Learning to catch a football with his hooves was hard, but not impossible. After training with Larry for years, he was ready to enter the league. He was picked up quickly by Minnesota Grey Ducks to get some practice reps in prior to entering the Season 35 DSFL Draft.

Hogmolly's Professional Career

In the Season 35 DSFL Draft, Hogmolly was selected by the Dallas Birddogs with the 56th overall pick. Along with rookie quarterback Roque Santa Cruz, Hogmolly went on to form a promising young offensive duo. The Pig (patent pending) was the seventh tight end in the league in terms of total receiving yards, falling over 400 yards behind the DSFL leader, American Boot. Dallas ended the season 3-11 and missed the playoffs, however the Hog (patent pending) was an important addition to the locker room and team. After the DSFL season was over, Hogmolly began preparing for the upcoming ISFL draft. He wanted to bulk up some to show the ISFL General Managers he could be a true in-line, starting tight end for a competitive team in the league. The easiest way to bulk: donuts. Hogmolly's agent pursued a Dunkin Donuts endorsement for him to no avail - no major U.S. brand wanted to be endorsed by a pig, even a talented on that played football.

DSFL Career Statistics

Career statistics			Receiving
Season	Team	Games	Rec	Yards	Avg	Lg	TD
2050 (S35)	ISFL	14	58	388	6.7	23	2

Achievements and records

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