Arthur Naught

Arthur Naught

Arthur Naught
No. 80 – Kansas City Coyotes
Position:	Wide Receiver
Personal information
Born:	(2020-08-02)August 2, 2020 (aged 42) Ottawa, Canada
Height:	6 ft 2 in (1.88 m)
Weight:	215 lb (98 kg)
Username:	Wonderful_Art
Career information
High school:	Manhattan High School
College:	University of Pennsylvania
DSFL Draft:	2040  / Round: 2 / Pick: 5
Career history
Kansas City Coyotes (2040 (S25))
Roster status:	Active

Arthur Naught (born August 2, 2020) is an American football wide receiver for the Kansas City Coyotes of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL).

Early years

Arthur Naught was born in New York, New York without parents. No one is quite certain how this occurred, of course, but the hospital has thoroughly denied any wrongdoing on their part and assure that the records are kept in a most meticulous manner. "It's a miracle," hospital administrator Joe Joey was quoted in the paper saying, "and definitely not a historically bad mismanagement of infants under our care." It was several years before Arthur left the hospital, often found stealing jello and puddings from comatose patients. Most staff adamently believed Arthur was a ghost, and to this day believe the ghost is on the verge of becoming a international football star.

After the ordeal, Arthur moved into Central Park where he lived amongst the Central Park Zoo. Taken on by zoo custodians who were known for being compassionate and not at all creepy, Arthur quickly learned to defend himself from various zoo animals. He quotes this experience leading to his impressive foot speed and athletic regimen. "I had no choice but to work out. Your 7 and wake up in the lion exhibit and you've got 3 females circling, saliva drooling, whaddya do. You gotta get gone or you gotta make dinner."

At the age of 14, Arthur won a major legal battle with the hospital he was born in and received millions in settlement. This bankrupted the hospital, although a settlement was brokered allowing Joe Joey to be Arthur's personal butler for 100 years in exchange for the hospital remaining open with severe debt owed to Arthur. Arthur now calls Joe his dad, in a very weird and uncomfortable result for everyone.

College career

Thanks to the windfall of his legal settlement with the New York hospital, Arthur was able to essentially purchase his enrollment at the University of Pennsylvania. Penn admissions coordinator Sleazy McMoney has since been prosecuted, fired and jailed for fraudulent behaviour in admissions related to accepting bribes for enrollment, although no direct ties were every formally made between McMoney and Arthur. Needless to say, rumors continue to exist regarding the exact dollar figure and/or favors offered by Arthur for the admissions.

At Penn, Arthur devoted his life to football. Originally starting as a kicker, Arthur quickly fell in love with the game. Calling it better than zebra soccer, Why he started as a kicker is a question mark - although his detractors frustratingly point to the illicit admissions deal as a possible reason. Regardless, it was only 1 game before Arthur had nailed the lead wide receiver in the head with a poorly aimed kick and caused him to enter a long and fraughtful medical journey ultimately resulting in the loss of one arm and one leg on opposite sides of his body. The head coach, irritated by the kick, moved Arthur to wide receiver to show him a lesson. Unfortunately, Arthur was a natural in the role. As he describes: ""As fast a cheetah, as quick as a monkey, as strong as an elephant, as tall as a giraffe..."" and unfortunately he really doesn't stop listing.

Arthur stayed as wide receiver for Penn during his entire career. His coaches raved about his overall athleticism and work effort, specifically his foot speed and strength, which they called elite for his age and development.

College career statistics

Career statistics			Receiving
Season	Team	Games	Rec	Yards	Avg	Lg	TD
2039	Penn	13	94	1,540	13.9	71	18
2038	Penn	10	78	1,120	12.5	55	12

Professional career

DSFL career

Arthur was drafted to the Kansas City Coyotes in the second round of the S25 DSFL Draft. After a prospect bowl showing that was lack lustre, many scouts had predicted that the otherwise talented wide receiver may fall to the 3rd round or later, despite his constant presence in the training room and a series of articles written by Arthur and close collegiate friend Alexander Franklin that had netted him a respectable income before the draft. Since signing with the Kansas City Coyotes, Arthur has gone on to build a connection to the members of the locker room and scouts describe a sizzling connecting with quarterback Matt Peterson.

Pre-draft measurables

Ht	Wt	40‑yd dash	20‑ss	3‑cone	Vert jump	Broad
6 ft 2 in (1.88 m)	215 lb (98 kg)

Professional career statistics

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Achievements and records

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