Blibby Shpoopy
No. 11 – Retired | |
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Position: | Wide Receiver |
Personal information | |
Born: | Portland, Maine, U.S. | March 6, 2027 (aged 37)
Height: | 6 ft 1 in (1.85 m) |
Weight: | 175 lb (79 kg) |
Username: | Whatamus |
Career information | |
High school: | Portland High School |
College: | University of Helsinki |
ISFL Draft: | 2052 / Round: 2 / Pick: 27 |
DSFL Draft: | 2051 / Round: 3 / Pick: 21 |
Career history | |
Roster status: | Retired |
Blibby Shpoopy (born March 6, 2028) was an American football wide receiver for the Chicago Butchers. He played college football for University of Helsinki.
Early years
Shpoopy was born to a mother and a father who hated him. They named him Blibby Shpoopy because he was born during a Patriots playoff game and they hated him for making them miss the game losing field goal in overtime. It was the weirdest name they could come up with in the hospital. The normal doctor was out that day, so Shpoopy was delivered by a voodoo shaman doctor and cursed to walk the earth bow-legged and cockeyed. Through pure will and blind stupidity, however, Blibby powered through his adversity and made waves on the high school football team, taking them to a championship agasint a team of kids from Naples that would rather have been playing ultimate frisbee. He scored three touchdowns, and even ran a kick back for a last minute score against the troubled teens. Shpoopy's coach, after making fun of his name for a final time, patted him on the back and said "what happened, I've been hammered since the second quarter".
College career
After highschool, Shpoopy wanted to get far away from his parents, who spent their mornings taking turns throwing spiders at him and their evenings hiding the television remote from him. He ended up as far away as he could, at the University of Helsinki in Finland. There, he learned the ways of life, love, and leathermaking. One day, during a leathermaking class, he absentmindedly constructed a perfect recreation of an ISFL football. His friends were astounded; they had never seen a football before. He took them to the field out back where no sports were played, and had the big guy Hans throw balls deep to him. Shpoopy was catching balls like he used to catch stray insults back home, and one student happened to film it all on his Sony Ericsson flip phone. The 144p video went viral, and well, the rest is history as they say. Scouts saw the video, and they knew there was some magic in those pixels.
College career statistics
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Career statistics | Receiving | ||||||
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Season | Team | Games | Rec | Yards | Avg | Lg | TD |
2050 (S35) | UH | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Professional career
Ht | Wt | 40‑yd dash | 20‑ss | 3‑cone | Vert jump | Broad |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
6 ft 1 in (1.85 m) |
175 lb (79 kg) |