Difference between revisions of "Awkward Sexjoke"
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{{Infobox NSFL biography | {{Infobox NSFL biography | ||
| name = Awkward Sexjoke | | name = Awkward Sexjoke |
Revision as of 08:39, 31 January 2020
No. 69 – Myrtle Beach Buccaneers | |||||||
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Position: | Safety | ||||||
Personal information | |||||||
Born: | Saskatchewan Public School System Internet Network, Canada, Canada | June 9, 2014 (aged 50)||||||
Height: | 6 ft 1 in (1.85 m) | ||||||
Weight: | 215 lb (98 kg) | ||||||
Career information | |||||||
High school: | Holy Cross High School | ||||||
College: | Greendale Community College | ||||||
DSFL Draft: | 2034 / Round: 3 / Pick: 9 | ||||||
ISFL Undrafted: | 2035 | ||||||
Career history | |||||||
Roster status: | Active | ||||||
Career DSFL statistics | |||||||
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Awkward Maryanne Sexjoke (born June 9, 2014) is an American football safety for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL). He played college football for Greendale Community College before being drafted by the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers in the 2034 DSFL Draft (S19).
Contents
Early years
Awkward Sexjoke (pronounced Howard Say-Jeaux) was born to Mortimer and Brunhilda Sexjoke of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Canada in mid 2014 during a selfie gone wrong at a Irish style BBQ restaurant. Awkward is the eldest of two children along with younger sister Filthy (ronounced Sara) who later became a nun. The family was very well off during Awkward's childhood. Mortimer owned a custom shop making high end grills for rappers and hockey players while Brunhilda was in demand as a scarf creator for small bears. Awkward would say his family was very close. Not in the way you think. They just enjoyed standing very near to one another. Awkward excelled in football and lacrosse in high school as well as being an excellent creative writer who made several popular characters that made him the most famous person in Saskatoon. He graduated with honors and was named All-Province on so many things that his Letterman's jacket weighed at least three maybe six times as much as anyone else's from all the patches.
College career
Awkward accepted a scholarship to Greendale because he really wanted to go to Colorado. He had intially decided to stay with his fmaily close to home but changed his mind at the last moment and was gone a few days later. During his Freshman season in Greendale he starred as DE, OL, and Kick Returner, leading the team to a 3 win season for the first time in school history. By the time he was a Junior, Awkward had also become a Math professor at the school, and the team won 5 games. Awkward played Quarterback for several games as well as being the Defensive Coordinator (and planning the school's spring dance where only two people nearly died). As a Senior, Awkward managed to lead the team in sacks, tackles, receptions, and holding penalties while also briefly becoming the Vice-Dean of the college until he was removed for not accepting bribes.
College career statistics
Come back to this bit. Not sure how to generate the table yet
Professional career
DSFL career
Coming into the DSFL Draft, Awkward was a bit of a mystery but was also a clearly gifted DE. He fell to the ninth pick and rewarded the Buccaneers for the choice by performing extremely well and finishing in the top 10 of the DSFL in both sacks and Tackles for Loss. While a relatively quiet player, his onfield success made GMs take notice, though not too much notice. He seemed destined to be picked in the second round for reasons unknown. Then right as the season ended he appeared at team HQ over a hundred pounds lighter, several inches shorter, and proclaiming he was a Safety now. No one understood how it was even possible, but as such things were fairly commonplace in the NSFL and DSFL no one batted too much of an eye at it. The news sent NSFL GMs into a tizzy and changed his draft stock drastically to also second round.
Ht | Wt | 40‑yd dash | 20‑ss | 3‑cone | Vert jump | Broad |
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6 ft 1 in (1.85 m) |
215 lb (98 kg) |
Professional career statistics
Come back to this later
Achievements and records
Come back to this later ""