Difference between revisions of "Melvin Murder-Moose"

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{{Cleared|[[User:ValorX77|ValorX77]] ([[User talk:ValorX77|talk]]) 14:40, 11 June 2020 (UTC)}}
 
 
{{Infobox NSFL biography
 
{{Infobox NSFL biography
−
| name                = Daria Guava-Fresca
+
| name                = Melvin Murder-Moose
−
| image              = guava-fresca.jpg
+
| image              = murder-moose.png
 
| image_size          = 250px
 
| image_size          = 250px
 
| alt                =  
 
| alt                =  
−
| caption            = Guava-Fresca's Amazonian history plays a large role in her football career.
+
| caption            = Murder-Moose holding the jersey of his beloved former owner [[Daria Guava-Fresca]].
 
| number              = 67
 
| number              = 67
−
| current_team        = Norfolk Seawolves
+
| current_team        = Colorado Yeti
−
| position            = Kicker
+
| position            = Linebacker
−
| birth_date          = {{birth date and age2|{{CurrentDate/yy}}|{{CurrentDate/mm}}|{{CurrentDate/dd}}|2016|12|4}}
+
| birth_date          = {{birth date and age2|{{CurrentDate/yy}}|{{CurrentDate/mm}}|{{CurrentDate/dd}}|2032|6|13}}
−
| birth_place        = The Moon, [[wp:U.S. Virgin Islands|U.S. Virgin Islands]]
+
| birth_place        = Newberry, [[wp:Michigan|Michigan]]
 
| death_date          = <!-- not needed unless the player is actually dead -->
 
| death_date          = <!-- not needed unless the player is actually dead -->
 
| death_place        = <!-- in such cases, DM 37thchamber; we don't have a death date template yet -->
 
| death_place        = <!-- in such cases, DM 37thchamber; we don't have a death date template yet -->
Line 26: Line 25:
 
| pastteams          =  
 
| pastteams          =  
 
| pastteamsnote      = no
 
| pastteamsnote      = no
−
| status              = Active <!-- only other option here should be Retired -->
+
| status              = Retired <!-- only other option here should be Retired -->
 
| highlights          =  
 
| highlights          =  
 
}}
 
}}
−
'''Daria Guava-Fresca''' (born December 4, 2016) is an [[wp:American football|American football]] [[wp:Kicker|kicker]] for the [[Norfolk Seawolves]] of the [[Developmental Simulation Football League]] (DSFL).  
+
'''Melvin Murder-Moose''' (born June 13, 2032) was an [[wp:American football|American football]] [[wp:Linebacker|linebacker]] for the [[Colorado Yeti]] of the [[International Simulation Football League]] (ISFL).  
−
==Early years==
+
==Early Years==
−
Born on the moon as it aligned with Venus, Daria Guava-Fresca's parentage was akin to a godess.  Learning and settling into the tradition of war and bloodlust, Daria began her life dancing. While studying ballet, Daria recognized the skill and discipline that it took to be a warrior. While Daria danced, she gained a focus that translates into her dedication now as a DSFL player.  While Daria was consistently at the top of her class, even from a young age, her dismayed father continued to try and include his love of football into her life. While he was unaware (as many men are) of the deep rooted history of Amazonians and football, it would ultimately always become Daria's fate to play.
+
Melvin the Moose was born in Newberry, Michigan, and like most moose he lived out his days in the isolated woods in the area. As he would wander, he would venture across the landscape of northern Michigan. He did not think much about life outside of his area in the upper peninsula, but that would change when he would meet a young superstar kicker, [[Daria Guava-Fresca]]. As Daria ventured into Michigan to join the Michigan Wolverines football team, she would spend her free time and spare moments wandering the forests and connecting with nature in the upper peninsula of Michigan. On one such trip, Daria ventured to find Melvin sitting in the woods. Recognizing his beauty and majesty, Daria became determined to make Melvin her new best friend. Together, the two spent many days hiking and venturing through the woods of the north. While companionship with a human was new to Melvin, Guava-Fresca would grow used to unusual companions in her football career. After many weeks of hanging with one another, Melvin became an inspiration to Daria and would continue to stay with her throughout her college and professional career.
  
−
As he watched his daughter dance one day, Guava-Fresca's father realized that there was an opportunity for her on the football field, that he wouldn't have anticipated. The strength in her legs and flexibilty would serve her well as a kicker. Alternating her training with ballet classes and football practice, Guava-Fresca continued to excel in both fields.  Becoming the starting kicker, as well as homecoming queen, Guava-Fresca made sure to balance her Amazonian heritage with her newfound battlefield: the football field. In a career that would make the Amazonian goddesses proud, Guava-Fresca continued her hard work at the University of Michigan.
+
==College Career==
−
==College career==
+
While Daria continued to play for the Michigan Wolverines, Melvin would watch every game from the sidelines. Most of the team were terrified of this massive moose who would make his way into the football arena, but for coach Harbaugh, it wasn't that unusual. Melvin watched as Daria practiced as a kicker, and would continue to bellow as his way of cheering her on throughout practices and games. During her college career, Daria and Melvin became inseparable, and when there were a few roughing the kicker calls made, it was very clear that Melvin would continue to be a protector, as well as a friend for Guava-Fresca. As intimidations go, Melvin the moose made sure to leer down the opposing team, which became especially frightening as a moose will spend the month of September shedding their antler velvet. The bloodied mess atop Melvin's head made for an extra sensational component when he would come charging down the field toward other players.
−
With the desire to follow in the Amazonian footsteps, Guava-Fresca could think of nothing else than to join one of the longest running football programs in the country.  Under the legendary leadership of Jim Harbaugh, Guava-Fresca felt honored to join this elite team. Practices were grueling, and Harbaugh continued to impart discipline and wisdom that would serve Guava-Fresca well as she practiced.  She looked to him and that man on his shoulder for the inspiration and guidance necessary to continue her goal - becoming an NSFL player.
 
  
−
Guava-Fresca's career started slowly, with Michigan only needing kickoffs and point after kicks.  However, as they began to face tougher defensive lines, it became clear the power that resided in Guava-Fresca's leg.  Her height, accuracy, and power, led to Guava-Fresca being recognized for her hard work and dedication as a Michigan Wolverine.  With a legendary 67 yard field goal, Daria Guava-Fresca vowed to make that her new jersey number, to never forget what it was that she had worked so hard for.  Eventually, she left the team to persue a career with the DSFL team, the Norfolk Seawolves.
+
==Developmental Career==
−
===College career statistics===
 
−
Use [[Blank:StatsTables|this page]] to get the stats table template.
 
−
==Professional career==
 
  
−
In her first season with the Seawolves, Daria Guava-Fresca had an impressive start, quickly turning into the offensive player of the game against the Kansas City Coyotes. As she continued to work on her strength and accuracy throughout the season, Guava-Fresca solidified her understanding of what it meant to be a Seawolf and a part of the Norfolk team. The Seawolves continued to have an amazing start to their season. The first difficult game for them came against the Dallas Birdogs, when Guava-Fresca was the only thing stopping the game from ending in a shutout. With a loss under the wings, Guava-Fresca and the entirety of the Norfolk team settled into the locker room to buck up and attempt to remain positive.
+
Tragedy struck Daria Guava-Fresca after her first season in the DSFL. When Melvin tragically murdered her, he let it be known that he was going to take over her identity, and her career. Instead of Daria being drafted, it was Melvin. Instead of Daria winning awards, it was Melvin. After being drafted to the Colorado Yeti, Melvin continued to stay down in the DSFL for a second season. The Yeti were determined to let Melvin continue to grow and learn more before being called up. During this time, Melvin continued his stint as the starting (and only) kicker and punter for the Norfolk Seawolves. This season the Murder-Moose did his best to be able to live up to the Guava-Fresca name and championship title of Kicker of the Year, but the year began with a very rough start. Melvin continued to miss field goals and extra points, and while the Seawolves were dominating, the field goal streak that Guava-Fresca was known for in her early career did not get passed to her beloved moose pet.
  
−
It seemed as though things would turn around for the Seawolves, however, when they would go on to win the next week against the Luchadores, with Guava-Fresca missing her first extra point of the season. In what she dubbed, “her cursing the team,” the Seawolves fell three games, even though Guava-Fresca’s field goals continued to keep the Seawolves from being shut out. While it seemed unlikely that they would go onto win in that moment, Guava-Fresca worked to maintain her positivity, and she continued to focus on her kick accuracy, vowing to never let missing extra points stop the team from victory again.
+
In the 5th week of games, Murder-Moose was awarded the gameball for Offensive Player of the Game against the Kansas City Coyotes. Continuing to keep the Coyotes pinned throughout the game, Murder-Moose had one of his better punting games this season, landing 200 total yards, and a massive 59 yard punt. Throughout the season, Murder-Moose would continue to do more punting, ending with a large average of punts, and a few massive punts for 70 yards.
  
−
As the Seawolves entered the playoffs, it became clear why they drafted Guava-Fresca. Earning the Offensive Player of the Game award for both the Playoff game and the Ultimini, Guava-Fresca showed the entire DSFL why she deserved to be there. With four impressive field goals against both Dallas and Kansas City, Guava-Fresca was able to help lead the Seawolves to victory for her first, and their first, Ultimini trophy. With these impressive game day performances and season stats, Guava-Fresca went on to make the Season 23 DSFL Pro-Bowl team as Kicker and Punter, and won the Kicker of the Year award.
+
Through a rough season, the Seawolves managed to clinch a playoff spot, and fought with Tijuana to the very end for that coveted home field advantage position. While they had suffered through two season losses to Tijuana, the Seawolves, and Melvin especially, would not let them take their Ultimini chance away. As true underdogs, the Seawolves defeated Tijuana in the fight for divisional champions with an overtime field goal made by Melvin. Celebrating, the Norfolk team willingly gave Melvin a game ball, and cake, knowing what might happen if they hadn't. While the Seawolves would lose in a close match to London, Melvin continued to make big plays for them throughout the end of the Ultimini.
−
 
 
−
Tragedy struck, however, during the celebration of Guava-Fresca with her newfound friend Adelie de Pengu. While celebrating at the Ironside manor, disaster struck, and Guava-Fresca's pet moose killed her in a flurry of rage. Taking over her life, including her position on the team, the Seawolves continue this new adventure with their new Murder-Moose. During the Season 24 ISFL Draft, Murder-Moose was drafted in the first round to the Colorado Yeti. It seems hiding with invisible forces are what is next for this rising star.
 
  
 
{{NSFL predraft
 
{{NSFL predraft
Line 64: Line 57:
 
|        note =  
 
|        note =  
 
}}
 
}}
−
===Professional career statistics===
+
===Developmental League Career Statistics===
 
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align: center;"
 
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align: center;"
 
|- <!-- Remove any row which does not apply to your player. Make sure you double check the index before doing so! -->
 
|- <!-- Remove any row which does not apply to your player. Make sure you double check the index before doing so! -->
Line 84: Line 77:
 
| 22 || 25 || 88 || 1/1 || 4/4 || 6/8 || 9/10 || 2/2 || 54 <!-- Field Goal Statistics -->
 
| 22 || 25 || 88 || 1/1 || 4/4 || 6/8 || 9/10 || 2/2 || 54 <!-- Field Goal Statistics -->
 
| 69 || 3070 || 44.5 || 11 || 62                              <!-- Punt Statistics -->
 
| 69 || 3070 || 44.5 || 11 || 62                              <!-- Punt Statistics -->
 +
|-
 +
| {{dsfly|24}} <!-- Change nsfly to dsfly if this season was played in the DSFL, change number to season played in -->
 +
| {{ts|NOR}}  <!-- Replace with the relevant team abbreviation (BAL, ARI, COL, YKW, NOLA, SJS, OCO, PHI, AUS, CHI, HON, SAR, TIJ, POR, KCC, MIN, DBD, LON, NOR, PB, MBB) -->
 +
| 14          <!-- Games Played -->
 +
| 25 || 27 || 92.6                                          <!-- Extra Point Statistics -->
 +
| 21 || 26 || 80.8 || 0/0 || 9/9 || 8/8 || 4/6 || 0/3 || 45 <!-- Field Goal Statistics -->
 +
| 65 || 3051 || 46.9 || 5 || 71                              <!-- Punt Statistics -->
 
|}
 
|}
  
−
==Achievements and records==
+
==Professional Career==
 +
 
 +
Throughout his career Melvin has begun to distinguish himself as one of the best linebackers within the ISFL. Between setting multiple season records, especially with forced fumbles and fumble recoveries for a defensive player, Melvin continues to dominate despite his old age.
 +
 
 +
===2040===
 +
 
 +
Melvin's rookie season in the ISFL and with the Colorado Yeti was already colored as his friend and mentor, [[Bubba Thumper]], and former general manager Peter Brand left during the previous offseason to begin an expansion team in New York. Despite this, Melvin set out to prove himself, and to try and become as incredible as Colorado legend, [[Mo Berry]], was. Melvin's hard work paid off, and he was able to get two defensive touchdowns his first season. Between this and his other accomplishments he was able to create a season that was worthy of Linebacker of the Year nominations, as well as winning the Defensive Rookie of the Year award. This in addition to a pro bowl appearance was the icing on the cake (haha, get it), to an otherwise incredible season. While the Yeti lost to the San Jose Sabercats in the Ultimus for the second time in a row, Melvin's spirits remained high as he continued to share the line with his best friend Adelie de Pengu.
 +
 
 +
===2041===
 +
 
 +
Melvin's second season on the Colorado Yeti was very much similar to his first. He had improved tremendously in tackles, slightly in sacks, and just continued to be a hype moose for the rest of the team. While Colorado had a slightly down season, just barely missing playoffs with the same record as Sarasota, they were resolved to pick things up again for the future. Melvin's stats were not quite amazing enough for him to be graced with yet another award, but he was able to get another spot on the pro-bowl team. This offered Melvin quite a bit of entertainment during the offseason, and it would end up being quite the largest and most important offseason of his career, to be honest. As protocol within the league began to change, Melvin found himself suddenly wondering if management was right for him. While he never thought that he would actually have an interest in it, Melvin found himself suddenly talking with head manager Sylvester in order to determine his future as a manager and player of the team.
 +
 
 +
===2042===
 +
 
 +
Switching to management was a bit of a shock for Melvin at first, and it didn't help that there were so many other changes happening as well. Melvin looked toward making his performance on the field match his performance off the field, and to say he didn't disappoint is a bit of an understatement. Melvin was able to bring home 19 sacks, and another defensive touchdown, bringing his total to three. If he kept this pace up, Melvin would be solidified for years to come (however, moose are notoriously bad at catching things, so Melvin has not received any further defensive touchdowns). He did begin his showing of forced fumbles this season, however, earning four. This on the field performance was enough to make the pro bowl committee take notice, and Melvin found himself with his third nomination in three seasons. What an incredible way to start his first season as player and manager.
 +
 
 +
===2043===
 +
 
 +
As Melvin continued management, he found that he wanted to create more opportunities to give back to the community. Melvin used this opportunity to create a charity event in which he auctioned off a date with his best friend, Adelie de Pengu. Additionally, Melvin spent time during the offseason and when he wasn't playing, practicing, or looking at tape, to make sure that he was able volunteer at the local schools and help their coaches, as well as help out at the soup kitchen by providing an endless buffet of cake. Indeed, cake and Melvin's image associated with cake, became such an important part of his life that he continued to spend more and more time working with companies trying to revamp the horrid past the murder-moose had generated. While Melvin's on the field performance managed to get him another pro bowl nomination, this would spark the beginning of his dry spell both on the field, and off the field.
 +
 
 +
===2044===
 +
 
 +
The 29th season of the ISFL proved to be a pretty alright one for the Colorado Yeti. Melvin himself began to gain traction with his forced fumbles, but once more it was his off the field accomplishments that were really the most important part for him. During this time, Melvin began questioning when he might want to take a break, when should he begin to look at other sports, and really, is there something out there that could be better than football. With the offseason just around the corner, Melvin finished out their playoff loss with a trip to Sweden, where he spent time with his cousins and underwent the great Moose Migration. While it required some fancy traveling as it occurred during the football season, one thing was clear for Melvin. He also wanted to try his hand at hockey as well. With a mis-translation of his name (apparently murder came out like majestik in Sweden), he found himself entering a new sport. Many people wondered what the impact would be for Melvin as he continued to play football and hockey, but his on the field performance didn't dwindle too much, and in fact, this was the start of Melvin's turnaround.
 +
 
 +
===2045===
 +
 
 +
I'm sure some stuff happened this season, but honestly who is going to read this to find out. Moose was more focused on hockey than football.
 +
 
 +
===2046===
 +
 
 +
===2047===
 +
 
 +
Melvin was technically inactive during this season because it meant that after regression he'd be cheaper for the team, so there isn't much to say. He didn't do a lot. Oh, he did quit being the GM during this season. Life literally was kicking his ass, so he stepped down after crying enough tears to fill the South Platte River.
 +
 
 +
===2048===
 +
 
 +
While Melvin began a heavy decline of his abilities, and indeed had a season where he didn't push himself at all during the season, the 33rd season of the ISFL was one quite unlike any other.  During this season, Melvin just got pissed at everything, and it showed on the field. Instead of just sacking quarterbacks left and right, he was also becoming know for tearing the ball out of anyone and everyone's hands. With a record-breaking 12 forced fumbles during the season, and 8 fumble recoveries (the most by a defensive player, and putting Melvin on par with only quarterbacks in reality), Melvin became one fearsome creature. As he ended the season it seemed inevitable that he would be placed on the probowl ballot, as well as receiving nominations for linebacker of the year, defensive player of the year, and most valuable player. Would Melvin go on to win any of these awards? That's a tale for another offseason wiki point task.
 +
 
 +
===2049===
 +
 
 +
Honestly, there wasn't much that happened for Melvin this year. Many of his teammates started to retire and were going to be done at the end of the season, and after winning MVP and being, well like 17 years old, Melvin just realized that he was way too old to keep playing football. So he kind of forgot that he wasn't actually retiring at the end of the season like the rest of his peers. The Yeti themselves weren't doing so great as a team, and Melvin got some stats, but being the old man that he is, it wasn't as many as he would have liked. He ended up getting another 14 sacks and a few more interceptions and even a safety, but truly, he could see that the end was on the horizon for the old moose. As he reflected about his career, hanging out with good friends Bjorn Ironside, Lady Ironside, and Adelie de Pengu, Melvin realized that it was almost time to call it quits. He wasn't quite sure how he was going to go out, but he knew it wasn't going to be pretty.
 +
 
 +
===2049===
 +
There were a lot of changes on the field this season, new friends that were called up and old friends that retired and may their way off the field. However, Melvin continued trucking just like he had before. While the old man struggled with sacks like before, he still managed to get double digits and hit 11 during the season. His bones ached a little more as he played, and he would often complain when he got off of the field. As it stands, though, he remained the record holder for sacks and forced fumbles, and it was something he was honestly so proud of that it powered him through, and when the team asked the old man if he had one more season left in him, he said "yeah alright I guess." He spent that time looking forward to the draft and the offseason. They brought in a lot of great new friends as the season ended, and instead of being sad about the fact that his time was almost over, he looked forward to riding the cushy benches that mentor and friend Bubba Thumper helped put in.
 +
 
 +
===Professional League Career Statistics===
 +
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align: center;"
 +
! colspan="3" |Career statistics <!-- Career Statistics -->
 +
! colspan="12" |Defensive Statistics <!-- Defensive Statistics -->
 +
|-
 +
! Season !! Team !! Games
 +
! Tck !! TFLs !! Sack !! PD !! Int !! Sfty !! DefTD !! FFum !! FRec !! Blk Pnt !! Blk XP !! Blk FG
 +
|-
 +
 
 +
| {{nsfly|25}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 85 || 0 || 10 || 19 || 4 || 0 || 2 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|26}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 102 || 2 || 12 || 19 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|27}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 102 || 5 || 19 || 15 || 2 || 1 || 1 || 4 || 2 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|28}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 104 || 3 || 17 || 9 || 2 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|29}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 87 || 3 || 11 || 9 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 4 || 1 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|30}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 97 || 3 || 9 || 6 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 3 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|31}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 106 || 5 || 15 || 5 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 4 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|32}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 153 || 6 || 8 || 14 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 5 || 3 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|33}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 129 || 7 || 18 || 14 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 12 || 8 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|34}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 93 || 8 || 14 || 8 || 2 || 1 || 0 || 4 || 3 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|35}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 107 || 4 || 11 || 7 || 1 || 0 || 0 || 4 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
|-
 +
| {{nsfly|36}}
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 16 || 85 || 12 || 8 || 6 || 0 || 1 || 0 || 1 || 0 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| Career
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| 192 || 1250 || 58 || 152 || 122 || 11 || 3 || 3 || 41 || 17 || 0 || 0 || 0
 +
|-
 +
| League Rank
 +
| {{ts|COL}}
 +
| - || 5 || 38 || 1 || 62 || 167|| 9|| 67 || 1 || 10 || 138 || 5 || 28
 +
|-
 +
|}
 +
 
 +
==Developmental Achievements and Records==
 
;Team
 
;Team
 
*Ultimini Champion (1), 2038
 
*Ultimini Champion (1), 2038
 +
*Ultimini Appearance (1), 2039
  
 
;Individual
 
;Individual
 
*Pro-Bowl Kicker and Punter: 2038
 
*Pro-Bowl Kicker and Punter: 2038
 
*Kicker of the Year: 2038
 
*Kicker of the Year: 2038
 +
 +
==Professional Achievements and Records==
 +
;Team
 +
*Ultimus Appearance (2), 2040, 2047
 +
 +
;Individual Awards
 +
*Pro Bowl: 2040, 2041, 2042, 2043, 2048
 +
*Defensive Rookie of the Year: 2040
 +
*Linebacker of the Year: 2042, 2048
 +
*Defensive Player of the Year: 2042
 +
*Defensive Performance of the Year: 2042
 +
*Most Outstanding Player: 2048
 +
*Most Valuable Player: 2048
 +
 +
;Season Records Broken
 +
*2048 Forced Fumbles - 12
 +
*2048 Defensive Rumbles Recovered - 8
 +
 +
;Career Records Broken
 +
*2048 - #1 in Defensive Forced Fumbles
 +
*2049 - #1 in Defensive Sacks
 
   
 
   
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Murder-Moose, Melvin}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Murder-Moose, Melvin}}
−
[[Category:Norfolk Seawolves players]]
+
[[Category:Colorado Yeti Players]]
−
[[Category:Season unknown players]]
+
[[Category:Retired]]
−
[[Category:UM alumni]]
+
[[Category:Season 24 players]]
−
[[Category:People from the Caribbean]]
+
[[Category:Michigan alumni]]
 
[[Category:People from United States]]
 
[[Category:People from United States]]
−
[[Category:People from U.S. Virgin Islands]]
+
[[Category:International Simulation Football League players]]
−
[[Category:Developmental Simulation Football League players]]
+
[[Category:Linebackers]]
−
[[Category:Kickers]]
 

Revision as of 06:10, 5 April 2024

Melvin Murder-Moose
refer to caption
Murder-Moose holding the jersey of his beloved former owner Daria Guava-Fresca.
No. 67 – Colorado Yeti
Position:Linebacker
Personal information
Born: (2032-06-13)June 13, 2032 (aged 30)
Newberry, Michigan
Height:6 ft 5 in (1.96 m)
Weight:230 lb (104 kg)
Career information
College:Michigan
Career history
Roster status:Retired

Melvin Murder-Moose (born June 13, 2032) was an American football linebacker for the Colorado Yeti of the International Simulation Football League (ISFL).

Early Years

Melvin the Moose was born in Newberry, Michigan, and like most moose he lived out his days in the isolated woods in the area. As he would wander, he would venture across the landscape of northern Michigan. He did not think much about life outside of his area in the upper peninsula, but that would change when he would meet a young superstar kicker, Daria Guava-Fresca. As Daria ventured into Michigan to join the Michigan Wolverines football team, she would spend her free time and spare moments wandering the forests and connecting with nature in the upper peninsula of Michigan. On one such trip, Daria ventured to find Melvin sitting in the woods. Recognizing his beauty and majesty, Daria became determined to make Melvin her new best friend. Together, the two spent many days hiking and venturing through the woods of the north. While companionship with a human was new to Melvin, Guava-Fresca would grow used to unusual companions in her football career. After many weeks of hanging with one another, Melvin became an inspiration to Daria and would continue to stay with her throughout her college and professional career.

College Career

While Daria continued to play for the Michigan Wolverines, Melvin would watch every game from the sidelines. Most of the team were terrified of this massive moose who would make his way into the football arena, but for coach Harbaugh, it wasn't that unusual. Melvin watched as Daria practiced as a kicker, and would continue to bellow as his way of cheering her on throughout practices and games. During her college career, Daria and Melvin became inseparable, and when there were a few roughing the kicker calls made, it was very clear that Melvin would continue to be a protector, as well as a friend for Guava-Fresca. As intimidations go, Melvin the moose made sure to leer down the opposing team, which became especially frightening as a moose will spend the month of September shedding their antler velvet. The bloodied mess atop Melvin's head made for an extra sensational component when he would come charging down the field toward other players.

Developmental Career

Tragedy struck Daria Guava-Fresca after her first season in the DSFL. When Melvin tragically murdered her, he let it be known that he was going to take over her identity, and her career. Instead of Daria being drafted, it was Melvin. Instead of Daria winning awards, it was Melvin. After being drafted to the Colorado Yeti, Melvin continued to stay down in the DSFL for a second season. The Yeti were determined to let Melvin continue to grow and learn more before being called up. During this time, Melvin continued his stint as the starting (and only) kicker and punter for the Norfolk Seawolves. This season the Murder-Moose did his best to be able to live up to the Guava-Fresca name and championship title of Kicker of the Year, but the year began with a very rough start. Melvin continued to miss field goals and extra points, and while the Seawolves were dominating, the field goal streak that Guava-Fresca was known for in her early career did not get passed to her beloved moose pet.

In the 5th week of games, Murder-Moose was awarded the gameball for Offensive Player of the Game against the Kansas City Coyotes. Continuing to keep the Coyotes pinned throughout the game, Murder-Moose had one of his better punting games this season, landing 200 total yards, and a massive 59 yard punt. Throughout the season, Murder-Moose would continue to do more punting, ending with a large average of punts, and a few massive punts for 70 yards.

Through a rough season, the Seawolves managed to clinch a playoff spot, and fought with Tijuana to the very end for that coveted home field advantage position. While they had suffered through two season losses to Tijuana, the Seawolves, and Melvin especially, would not let them take their Ultimini chance away. As true underdogs, the Seawolves defeated Tijuana in the fight for divisional champions with an overtime field goal made by Melvin. Celebrating, the Norfolk team willingly gave Melvin a game ball, and cake, knowing what might happen if they hadn't. While the Seawolves would lose in a close match to London, Melvin continued to make big plays for them throughout the end of the Ultimini.

Pre-draft measurables
Ht Wt 40‑yd dash 20‑ss 3‑cone Vert jump Broad BP Wonderlic
6 ft 5 in
(1.96 m) 		230 lb
(104 kg) 		5.98 s 5.55 s 8.38 s 18.4 in
(0.47 m) 		4 ft 9.8 in
(1.47 m) 		3 reps 20

Developmental League Career Statistics

Career statistics Extra Points Field Goals Punts
Season Team Games XPM XPA XP% FGM FGA FG% <20 20-29 30-39 40-49 50+ Lng Punts Yds Avg Inside 20 Long
2038 (S23) Seawolves 14 32 33 97 22 25 88 1/1 4/4 6/8 9/10 2/2 54 69 3070 44.5 11 62
2039 (S24) Seawolves 14 25 27 92.6 21 26 80.8 0/0 9/9 8/8 4/6 0/3 45 65 3051 46.9 5 71

Professional Career

Throughout his career Melvin has begun to distinguish himself as one of the best linebackers within the ISFL. Between setting multiple season records, especially with forced fumbles and fumble recoveries for a defensive player, Melvin continues to dominate despite his old age.

2040

Melvin's rookie season in the ISFL and with the Colorado Yeti was already colored as his friend and mentor, Bubba Thumper, and former general manager Peter Brand left during the previous offseason to begin an expansion team in New York. Despite this, Melvin set out to prove himself, and to try and become as incredible as Colorado legend, Mo Berry, was. Melvin's hard work paid off, and he was able to get two defensive touchdowns his first season. Between this and his other accomplishments he was able to create a season that was worthy of Linebacker of the Year nominations, as well as winning the Defensive Rookie of the Year award. This in addition to a pro bowl appearance was the icing on the cake (haha, get it), to an otherwise incredible season. While the Yeti lost to the San Jose Sabercats in the Ultimus for the second time in a row, Melvin's spirits remained high as he continued to share the line with his best friend Adelie de Pengu.

2041

Melvin's second season on the Colorado Yeti was very much similar to his first. He had improved tremendously in tackles, slightly in sacks, and just continued to be a hype moose for the rest of the team. While Colorado had a slightly down season, just barely missing playoffs with the same record as Sarasota, they were resolved to pick things up again for the future. Melvin's stats were not quite amazing enough for him to be graced with yet another award, but he was able to get another spot on the pro-bowl team. This offered Melvin quite a bit of entertainment during the offseason, and it would end up being quite the largest and most important offseason of his career, to be honest. As protocol within the league began to change, Melvin found himself suddenly wondering if management was right for him. While he never thought that he would actually have an interest in it, Melvin found himself suddenly talking with head manager Sylvester in order to determine his future as a manager and player of the team.

2042

Switching to management was a bit of a shock for Melvin at first, and it didn't help that there were so many other changes happening as well. Melvin looked toward making his performance on the field match his performance off the field, and to say he didn't disappoint is a bit of an understatement. Melvin was able to bring home 19 sacks, and another defensive touchdown, bringing his total to three. If he kept this pace up, Melvin would be solidified for years to come (however, moose are notoriously bad at catching things, so Melvin has not received any further defensive touchdowns). He did begin his showing of forced fumbles this season, however, earning four. This on the field performance was enough to make the pro bowl committee take notice, and Melvin found himself with his third nomination in three seasons. What an incredible way to start his first season as player and manager.

2043

As Melvin continued management, he found that he wanted to create more opportunities to give back to the community. Melvin used this opportunity to create a charity event in which he auctioned off a date with his best friend, Adelie de Pengu. Additionally, Melvin spent time during the offseason and when he wasn't playing, practicing, or looking at tape, to make sure that he was able volunteer at the local schools and help their coaches, as well as help out at the soup kitchen by providing an endless buffet of cake. Indeed, cake and Melvin's image associated with cake, became such an important part of his life that he continued to spend more and more time working with companies trying to revamp the horrid past the murder-moose had generated. While Melvin's on the field performance managed to get him another pro bowl nomination, this would spark the beginning of his dry spell both on the field, and off the field.

2044

The 29th season of the ISFL proved to be a pretty alright one for the Colorado Yeti. Melvin himself began to gain traction with his forced fumbles, but once more it was his off the field accomplishments that were really the most important part for him. During this time, Melvin began questioning when he might want to take a break, when should he begin to look at other sports, and really, is there something out there that could be better than football. With the offseason just around the corner, Melvin finished out their playoff loss with a trip to Sweden, where he spent time with his cousins and underwent the great Moose Migration. While it required some fancy traveling as it occurred during the football season, one thing was clear for Melvin. He also wanted to try his hand at hockey as well. With a mis-translation of his name (apparently murder came out like majestik in Sweden), he found himself entering a new sport. Many people wondered what the impact would be for Melvin as he continued to play football and hockey, but his on the field performance didn't dwindle too much, and in fact, this was the start of Melvin's turnaround.

2045

I'm sure some stuff happened this season, but honestly who is going to read this to find out. Moose was more focused on hockey than football.

2046

2047

Melvin was technically inactive during this season because it meant that after regression he'd be cheaper for the team, so there isn't much to say. He didn't do a lot. Oh, he did quit being the GM during this season. Life literally was kicking his ass, so he stepped down after crying enough tears to fill the South Platte River.

2048

While Melvin began a heavy decline of his abilities, and indeed had a season where he didn't push himself at all during the season, the 33rd season of the ISFL was one quite unlike any other. During this season, Melvin just got pissed at everything, and it showed on the field. Instead of just sacking quarterbacks left and right, he was also becoming know for tearing the ball out of anyone and everyone's hands. With a record-breaking 12 forced fumbles during the season, and 8 fumble recoveries (the most by a defensive player, and putting Melvin on par with only quarterbacks in reality), Melvin became one fearsome creature. As he ended the season it seemed inevitable that he would be placed on the probowl ballot, as well as receiving nominations for linebacker of the year, defensive player of the year, and most valuable player. Would Melvin go on to win any of these awards? That's a tale for another offseason wiki point task.

2049

Honestly, there wasn't much that happened for Melvin this year. Many of his teammates started to retire and were going to be done at the end of the season, and after winning MVP and being, well like 17 years old, Melvin just realized that he was way too old to keep playing football. So he kind of forgot that he wasn't actually retiring at the end of the season like the rest of his peers. The Yeti themselves weren't doing so great as a team, and Melvin got some stats, but being the old man that he is, it wasn't as many as he would have liked. He ended up getting another 14 sacks and a few more interceptions and even a safety, but truly, he could see that the end was on the horizon for the old moose. As he reflected about his career, hanging out with good friends Bjorn Ironside, Lady Ironside, and Adelie de Pengu, Melvin realized that it was almost time to call it quits. He wasn't quite sure how he was going to go out, but he knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

2049

There were a lot of changes on the field this season, new friends that were called up and old friends that retired and may their way off the field. However, Melvin continued trucking just like he had before. While the old man struggled with sacks like before, he still managed to get double digits and hit 11 during the season. His bones ached a little more as he played, and he would often complain when he got off of the field. As it stands, though, he remained the record holder for sacks and forced fumbles, and it was something he was honestly so proud of that it powered him through, and when the team asked the old man if he had one more season left in him, he said "yeah alright I guess." He spent that time looking forward to the draft and the offseason. They brought in a lot of great new friends as the season ended, and instead of being sad about the fact that his time was almost over, he looked forward to riding the cushy benches that mentor and friend Bubba Thumper helped put in.

Professional League Career Statistics

Career statistics Defensive Statistics
Season Team Games Tck TFLs Sack PD Int Sfty DefTD FFum FRec Blk Pnt Blk XP Blk FG
2040 (S25) Yeti 16 85 0 10 19 4 0 2 0 0 0 0 0
2041 (S26) Yeti 16 102 2 12 19 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
2042 (S27) Yeti 16 102 5 19 15 2 1 1 4 2 0 0 0
2043 (S28) Yeti 16 104 3 17 9 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
2044 (S29) Yeti 16 87 3 11 9 0 0 0 4 1 0 0 0
2045 (S30) Yeti 16 97 3 9 6 0 0 0 3 0 0 0 0
2046 (S31) Yeti 16 106 5 15 5 0 0 0 4 0 0 0 0
2047 (S32) Yeti 16 153 6 8 14 0 0 0 5 3 0 0 0
2048 (S33) Yeti 16 129 7 18 14 0 0 0 12 8 0 0 0
2049 (S34) Yeti 16 93 8 14 8 2 1 0 4 3 0 0 0
2050 (S35) Yeti 16 107 4 11 7 1 0 0 4 0 0 0 0
2051 (S36) Yeti 16 85 12 8 6 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 0
Career Yeti 192 1250 58 152 122 11 3 3 41 17 0 0 0
League Rank Yeti - 5 38 1 62 167 9 67 1 10 138 5 28

Developmental Achievements and Records

Team
  • Ultimini Champion (1), 2038
  • Ultimini Appearance (1), 2039
Individual
  • Pro-Bowl Kicker and Punter: 2038
  • Kicker of the Year: 2038

Professional Achievements and Records

Team
  • Ultimus Appearance (2), 2040, 2047
Individual Awards
  • Pro Bowl: 2040, 2041, 2042, 2043, 2048
  • Defensive Rookie of the Year: 2040
  • Linebacker of the Year: 2042, 2048
  • Defensive Player of the Year: 2042
  • Defensive Performance of the Year: 2042
  • Most Outstanding Player: 2048
  • Most Valuable Player: 2048
Season Records Broken
  • 2048 Forced Fumbles - 12
  • 2048 Defensive Rumbles Recovered - 8
Career Records Broken
  • 2048 - #1 in Defensive Forced Fumbles
  • 2049 - #1 in Defensive Sacks
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